


Steve/Bucky One-Shots

by Darling_Loki



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Steve/Bucky centred, a collection of one shots, basically I'll write a summary at the start of each one, little tiny bits of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-11
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-19 00:35:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 41,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1448779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darling_Loki/pseuds/Darling_Loki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one shots focusing around Steve and Bucky, as well as the other Avengers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Recovered Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Bucky remembers who he was, all thanks to Steve (porn with plot)

_Bucky?_ The word haunts him, teasing him with something he _should_ remember but can't. All he knows is it makes his chest warm with something other than the violence, anger and hatred that's been force-fed to him from the day he woke up to the scientists and soldiers with their plans for him.

 _Who the hell is Bucky_? Because he can't remember, not any more. The look of pain and recognition had cut into him easier than the needles and knives Hydra had used on him.

He traced the red star on his left arm, imagining white ringed in blue and red instead, before whirling and punching through the wall, the stone crumbling around his fist before he pulled back.

 _Bucky?_ he turned back towards the bridge, his confusion not letting him go that far. He had to find out what the other soldier knew before he went back and they wiped his mind again. He _had_ to.

-

Steve was tossing and turning in his apartment, unable to sleep. Dark eyes, completely clear of any of the humour and affection he was used to, watched him. Bruises and cuts flared with remembered pain, and Steve's eyes flew open as he bolted upright, scanning his apartment. A shadow detached itself from the corner by the window, dark eyes regarding him warily.

He had to catch himself from repeating the nickname a second time. He glanced around for some sort of weapon, but the Winter Soldier shook his head, moving a little closer like he couldn't help himself.

"Who _are_ you?" he asked, almost like he was talking to himself.

"I'm Steve Rogers," the blond answered. "Are you here to kill me?"

"... No, I'm not," there was a hesitation there, like he was fighting with himself.

"Why?" the soldier persisted.

"Because ... I _know_ you. How do I know you?" his metal fist clenched, the silver glittering dully.

"I was your friend, a long time ago," Steve heard his own voice catch, and winced.

"Then why did you leave me to _them_? I woke up, in the cold and the dark, from a life I barely remembered _then_ , never mind now!" the anger in Bucky's eyes was so cold, so out of place, that Steve flinched.

"I thought you'd _died_ ," he looked away, unable to remember his vibrant best friend when a stranger looked out from behind his eyes, twisting everything familiar about him until there was barely anything left.

"It would have been better if I had," anger gave away to a familiar look of world-weary pain and grief. Steve had seen it every time he looked in the mirror for the first few weeks of his 'miraculous' return, when he'd learnt everyone he knew was either dead or old while he hadn't aged a day.

"Who _was_ I?" apparently reaching some sort of decision, the soldier sat down on the end of the bed, his eyes remaining on the blond.

"You were James 'Bucky' Barnes, a soldier of the 107th. Later, you helped me fight Hydra, running missions with me and a few others, until you fell from the train we were fighting on. You were the bravest man I knew, and my best friend," he sighed, his eyes studying the metal arm rather than meeting those eyes again.

"You weren't always like this," the other's voice was slow, like he was thinking it through. "You were smaller, weaker. Got into fights a lot?"

Steve nodded, unable to move as his old friend tried to work through the blocks in his mind, no doubt placed there by Hydra.

"I ... I loved you," he sounded so confused, his eyes searching Steve's face for some kind of confirmation. "Didn't I?"

"We were like brothers ..." Steve started, but the soldier shook his head, his dark eyes shadowed.

"For me, it was ... more than that. I _loved_ you, Steve. Before the serum, since we were teenagers," it sounded so much like the old Bucky that Steve's heart twisted. "But ... I never did _anything_."

He didn't exactly sound angry - more like he resented himself for not taking the opportunity.

"Then you took the serum, and you didn't need _me_ any more ... Bucky Barnes wasn't any super-soldier, didn't want to be," he barked a laugh at the irony. "I just wanted ... _you_."

"I always needed you," Steve's reply was automatic. "Even I was mad at you for hovering like a mother, afraid my lungs were gonna give up because of the cold."

"You _did_ have asthma," there was a look of wonder and revelation on his face. His expression softened. "I ... was a good man."

"You were," his best friend was still watching him, the revelation that Bucky had loved him too sending sparks through him, like electricity was running across his skin.

"I was glad. To die for you, you know," Bucky clarified. "I was glad it was me that fell instead of you. You were so _important_ to the world, and I ... I was just Bucky."

 _Just Bucky._ It was like it was back to the days in the army, Bucky laughing about his new role in the army, joking that he didn't need him any more because Steve had charmed the entire country, always in front of the cameras. _You're the great Captain America, don't bitch about it._ Maybe they'll want to interview you next time. _Doubt it, I'm just plain old Bucky Barnes, great soldier but not much of a public icon._

He surged forwards, startling Bucky when he wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug, burying his head in his neck. He knew the man could kill him, but he doubted it. Not after he'd remembered some of what they had been to each other.

"Steve ..." there was _yearning_ in Bucky's voice, and his friend looked up. The dark-haired man was looking at him, face inscrutable. Then he leaned down, capturing his lips in a deliberate kiss.

Steve froze, and the man pulled back, his eyes wide with hurt but his face already returning to the mask he'd been wearing when he'd turned up. Steve didn't think, reacting on instinct as he threw himself forwards, his kiss fiercer than Bucky's had been.

A soft gasp parted the soldier's lips, and Steve took advantage, pressing closer. Bucky shoved him back so he lay back on the mattress, and was hovering over him a second later, his expression more intense than his best friend had ever seen it, unless he was defending Steve from the bullies who'd loved to torment him.

He dropped his head, sucking and biting at the super-soldier's neck, and Steve hissed in a breath, his hands tightening on Bucky's hips under the thick black protective shirt he wore.

Bucky's hands, metal and human, slid under the faded shirt Steve wore to bed, pushing it up over his head when the other man nodded his assent to the unspoken question. His fingers splayed over his chest, exploring.

"I feel cheated," Steve gestured to the dark protective clothing the soldier still wore, and understanding sparked in his eyes. He shrugged out of his shirt easily, and Steve leaned up, one hand spread across a muscular stomach, the other brushing over his shoulder, where metal met flesh. Bucky drew in a sharp breath, looking down at the blond with wide eyes, like he was just seeing him for the first time.

"Steve ..." he breathed, his voice sounding a little rougher than before, and the sound was so _normal_ , so familiar, that Steve instinctively moved, flipping them over so he was looming over Bucky. He kissed and nipped his way down his chest, smiling when he heard soft gasps and quiet curses. He unbuckled his best, pushing the dark trousers down and out of the way.

He simply stared for a second, Bucky's hips jerking as Steve simply watched him, naked and desperate.

"I feel cheated," he parroted his old friend's words, and Steve barked a laugh as he slid out of his boxers.

"Better?" he teased.

"Mhmm," Bucky nodded quickly. "Do you know what to do?"

"Believe it or not, I've been trying to catch up on _everything_ ," Steve's smile was wicked, and he dipped his head to kiss the man below him as he reached for the bed-side drawer, grabbing for a bottle inside.

"I'm impressed," the soldier's laugh was cut off by a groan as a slick finger pressed against his entrance, his hips bucking up.

"You've done this before?" Steve asked, curious.

"I think ... with some of the guys in the army. We didn't have much company aside from each other, and we were always celebrating _living_ ," Bucky answered, sounding breathless. Steve groaned, a second finger joining the first to stretch him.

"So popular with _everyone_ , weren't you?" his old friend's lips curled into a quick smile, and he crooked his fingers. Bucky cried out his name, back arching.

"I'm not made of glass!" he snapped, impatient. "More!"

"You think you're ready?" Steve arched an eyebrow.

"Yes!" Bucky hissed, strands of his hair sticking to his flushed face. He actually _whimpered_ when Steve pulled out his fingers. He caught his wrist as he reached for the cabinet again, his eyes clear. "No condom. I know the serum would probably kill anything you've got, and I haven't had sex since before the train."

Steve nodded, slicking himself up and sinking in. Bucky yelled out his name, fingers digging into his shoulders hard enough to bruise. The pain faded after a moment, and he wrapped his legs around the super-soldier's waist.

"Move," he commanded. A snap of Steve's hips had him groaning out his name. The blond used one hand to hold himself up and threaded the other into Bucky's long hair, tugging lightly until the man's head fell back with a whimper, exposing the long column of his throat. He dipped his head, his teeth and lips marking him with bruises that wouldn't fade for a while. He felt smug when the marks stayed, but Bucky dragged him in for a messy kiss, whimpering against his lips as he arched into each thrust, his cock thrusting against Steve's abs.

"Not gonna last," he panted out, his hands twisting into blond hair.

"Fuck, me either," Steve cursed, and Bucky was coming, his come splattering against both of their stomachs. Steve's cry of his name was muffled against his neck as he came, panting against Bucky's neck as he came down from his high.

"God, we could have been doing that since the army," Bucky's comment drew a snort from his friend, who used his shirt to mop up the mess between them before settling back down beside him.

"Do you ... remember everything?" Steve looked nervous now, and Bucky ruffled his hair.

"I'm ... me. More or less. I can't forget what they've done, just as I can't forget what I've done, but I think I'm okay," his lips twitched. "They couldn't take you out, you know."

"What?" Steve lifted his head.

"Hydra. They tried to remove everything from before, but they couldn't get rid of you. I knew you, even when I didn't remember," the soldier murmured. "You've made me into a sap, Rogers."

"Nearly dying can do that," Steve snarked, grinning. "Are we ... together?"

"Sometimes, I think you've completely adapted to this world, then I realise you still have to try to change how you speak. You were going to say 'going steady'," a genuine laugh had Steve smiling, grateful that, for now, he had his friend back.

"Get some sleep, Buck," he rested his head on his friend's chest, just like when they'd been younger and he'd been weaker, needing the warmth to just _survive_.

"You taking care of me now?" the soldier asked, sounding amused. But he obeyed, his breath evening out before Steve's did.


	2. A Disney Addiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky have an addiction to Disney movies, much to the annoyance of everyone else.

Introducing Bucky to SHIELD was ... uncomfortable, to say the least. Bucky was tense and edgy, and Natasha was glaring at him the whole time.

"We're going to have to run tests," Fury said, talking to the pair of them.

"Tests? He _shot_ us!" Natasha was clearly holding a grudge. She stepped forwards, but Steve stopped her moving any further.

"Don't," he warned her, and Tony started laughing.

"Shit, you're in _love_ ," he grinned, and Bucky glared at him. "What? It's true."

"He's just an ass," Steve muttered, and Tony looked a little offended, before realising something.

"You ... couldn't, back then, could you?" he gestured between them, and they shook their heads. "Sorry."

"Steve, you can go with him, but don't interfere," Fury said dismissively. "Natasha, report to HQ. You've got a mission."

Still fuming, she stalked away, not glancing back at the group.

"I'll be running the tests anyway," Stark shrugged. "So you'll be staying here, okay?"

"Name's Bucky," the soldier greeted him, running a hand through his hair. He'd cut it, similar to how he used to wear it but a little longer.

"Tony," the scientist nodded. "So, do you wanna get started? I'd love to get a look at that arm."

The trio left for Tony's laboratory, Bucky letting out a low whistle at the amount of tech that greeted him. 

"Suddenly, Howard's inventions don't seem as good. The hover-car was still impressive though," he called, moving around the room.

"Howard?" Tony turned to face him, bewildered. "Stark?"

"Shit, was he your dad?" the scientist nodded, and Bucky swore. "Sorry, I didn't know."

"It's fine. Just feels weird to be hanging out with people who knew my dad when he was in his twenties," Tony chuckled.

"He gave me my shield," Steve smiled slightly.

"Then Peggy Carter shot at you because she caught you kissing someone else," Bucky began to laugh. "She was feisty - I kinda liked her."

"Completely ignored you," Steve began to laugh.

"I turned into you," Bucky snorted.

"Peggy Carter ... she co-founded SHIELD, didn't she?" Tony perked up, and Steve nodded.

"I visited her a few times, but she ... she's got Alzheimers. She keeps forgetting I've visited and it's like I've come back from the dead again," Steve explained, his voice cracking slightly.

"Oh, god, I'm sorry," Bucky looked appalled.

"Not your fault," Steve shrugged.

"Right, I do actually need to run some tests. I need to see how far Hydra got into your head, and try to remove anything they left behind," Tony looked at them. "That okay?"

"Go ahead," Bucky said. "I want all of their influence gone."

"Well, sit down. It shouldn't hurt, but it might feel uncomfortable," the billionaire explained. "I'll have to do it a few times, just to make sure it's gone, but once I've finished this, you can be declared safe."

"Alright," Bucky sat down, and Steve leaned against a counter, watching as Stark moved around him, placing electrodes on his head.

"JARVIS, run the programme," he commanded.

"Doing so now, sir," the computer responded. Machinery buzzed, and Bucky grimaced, the electrodes lighting up the same blue as the Arc reactor.

Tony had pressed electrodes to his own head, and he stiffened, his eyes closed.

"Take it. I don't care if it hurts. Remove them," he gritted his teeth. The scientist nodded, and Bucky cried out in shock. Then he slumped, and Stark was springing from his chair, detaching the electrodes from both their heads.

"Sorry," Tony winced. Steve knelt beside the chair, concerned, but Bucky waved him off.

"I expected it to hurt a little," he said, offhand. "And now I'm mostly free, right?"

"It shouldn't hurt that much when I remove the last little traces," Tony shrugged. "You want your own room, or you okay rooming with Steve?"

"I think I'm fine sharing," Bucky smiled slightly.

"Love-birds," Tony muttered, glancing down at the metal arm. "That's ... pretty high-tech. Want me to try and make a cover for it so you can go out without being noticed?"

"That'd be great, especially if I didn't lose any control of it," Bucky flexed his fingers. "Could you get rid of that red star? Paint it white?"

"Steve can do that. I'm sure he's got the paints for it up in his little studio next to his room," Tony chuckled. "Go on. I've got work to do."

The pair left, and Steve froze, turning to face his boyfriend in the corridor. He looked ... excited.

"Do you remember Disney?" Steve asked, and Bucky laughed.

"I remember those movies," he said fondly. "Why?"

"Because there are loads of them now," Steve grinned.

"Can we watch them?!" Bucky sounded like an eager child.

"We'll hijack Tony's main cinema room," Steve led him through the tower. "JARVIS, can we have popcorn?"

"Certainly," the computer said, and the popcorn machine whirred to life, just visible in the dim lighting.

"And play Disney movies, starting from the earliest ones," Bucky added, wanting to rewatch the ones he and Steve had seen but could barely remember.

They fell asleep and JARVIS paused the movie when they did, so they could watch it again when they woke up. Bruce walked in once, sitting down to watch Aladdin before he left as the next movie started.

Bucky had to take breaks for his tests, but he'd been declared 'safe', much to Natasha's annoyance. But she didn't do anything about it.

But what might actually cause the Avengers to attack Bucky (and Steve) was the fucking _singing_.

They hadn't stopped singing Disney songs since they'd watched the movies.

"I swear to god, if I hear 'I See The Light' _one more fucking time_ ," Clint growled out over breakfast, when Bucky and Steve were working out in the training room (some habits died hard, apparently). "I will put an arrow in _both_ of them."

"Be glad you haven't heard them singing 'I Just Can't Wait to be King'," Natasha muttered, taking a big gulp of her coffee.

"I don't know, I kinda like it," Tony chimed in. "It's nice to see them catching up."

"Sure, it's nice, but ... couldn't they sing in key?" Bruce groaned.

"Speaking of terrible duos, give us a heads up when Loki visits, will you?" Natasha fixed their host with a glare. "I nearly shot him last time."

"Like you could have killed him," Tony scoffed. "Sure. He didn't appreciate the surprise, either."

-

"You know we're pissing them all off, right?" Steve chuckled, doing push-ups while Bucky tested the new cover for his arm Tony had given him. It looked realistic, and didn't limit his control, but it felt strange. He kinda liked the metal arm - it reminded him of everything he'd gone through and survived. And the white star ringed in red reminded him of Steve.

"Why do you think I've been singing so loudly?" Bucky's grin was wicked, throwing a ball against the wall and catching it again. He dropped the ball, and glanced at his boyfriend. "Want to spar?"

"Sure," Steve jumped to his feet, his shirt crumpled on the floor from when he'd begun to sweat and had tossed it aside. Bucky used to be able to kick his ass, then Steve had been able to kick _his_ ass, after the serum. Now they were more-or-less even, the metal arm giving Bucky an edge but Steve's tendency to fight dirty keeping it even.

Bucky moved first, lunging at him and tackling him to the floor. Steve laughed, twisting out the way and pinning him from behind. Bucky twisted, tossing him off and standing up again, both watching. Steve was the one who moved first, going for his legs. Bucky managed to kick him off, but Steve pinned him with the length of his body, holding his hands by the wrists above his head.

"This is pretty hot, you know," Bucky commented, eyes glinting, and Steve kissed him. Bucky had always expected him to be chaste, maybe because he'd only known Steve as the awkward virgin and not as this icon that everyone seemed to want, but Steve kissed deep and hungry; the kind of kiss that promised other, better things.

Bucky arched up into him, biting down on his bottom lip just to hear the choked out groan it earned him. Then Steve was sliding a hand into his shorts, stroking him and grinning at the noises that Bucky tried to muffle into his neck, his tongue running along the tendon before he sank his teeth in, bruising. Steve jerked against him, and Bucky flipped them so he was straddling him.

 "My turn," his grin was wicked as he slid down his body, pulling his shorts down enough to pull his cock free. He lowered his head, his eyes still locked on Steve's, and took his cock into his mouth. His right hand stroked where his mouth couldn't reach, while his metal hand cupped his balls, smiling when Steve groaned, hands gripping his hair like he knew Bucky liked.

Bucky sucked him right the way down to the base, his now-free hand sliding beneath his shorts to stroke himself in the same rhythm as he sucked. When Steve cried out his name, coming down his throat, Bucky came into his hand, groaning as he let Steve's dick slip from his mouth.

"I'm glad no one else decided to use the training room," Bucky commented, wincing a little at the stickiness in his shorts.

"Me too, but you can bet Tony will be making copies of that security tape. Won't he, JARVIS?" Steve asked the ever-present computer.

"Yes, he will be. I've already notified him, as he requested," JARVIS responded.

"He hasn't got cameras in the bedrooms, has he?" Bucky looked a little alarmed.

"No," the computer answered. "Natasha forbade it."

"I bet Clint was right behind her," Steve snorted.

"They're really hooking up?" Bucky asked, intrigued.

"Yep. He even got her a little parting gift before we left for our mission. The little arrow necklace she wears?" Steve chuckled, pulling up his shorts. "They don't let it interfere with their work, of course."

"And then there's you. Breaking protocol, Cap, I'm disappointed in you," Bucky tutted, and Steve playfully shoved him.

"It was a special case. And this is coming from the one who I broke protocol for in the first place?" he asked, amused.

"Which I'm grateful for, by the way. I seem to be a bad influence on you, Rogers," Bucky sighed, eyes sparkling.

"You wouldn't have it any other way," Steve laughed, and his boyfriend shrugged, grinning. "Breakfast?"

"Yep," Bucky took his hand as they left, and felt Steve's surprised jolt. "Times change, so do the people. I went out with Tony the other day and someone commented on 'how cute we were'. I assured them I was seeing someone else, and Tony just laughed."

"Ass," Steve laughed affectionately. "He's going out with Loki, anyway."

"The Asgardian?" Bucky asked, astonished.

"The very one," a smooth voice came from behind them, and they spun to see the god himself, dressed in dark jeans and a button-up dark green shirt. "I don't believe I know you."

"Bucky, this is Loki, god of mischief. Loki, meet James Barnes," Steve introduced them.

"Call me Bucky," his boyfriend offered, and the god nodded.

"Where could I find Tony?" he asked, sounding surprisingly-polite.

"Follow us, I think he's in the kitchen," they carried on walking. "Surprising him?"

"Yes. I thought he'd like it. I arrived away from everyone else so Natasha wouldn't react ... badly," Loki's lips twitched at the memory.

"Tried to shoot you?" Bucky guessed, and the god nodded. "I had the same problem."

"You tried to shoot her first," Steve admonished him, surprised but happy to see how easily Bucky could speak about his time under Hydra's control. He could still see a faint shadow of unease in his eyes, so he pressed a kiss to his cheek, and the darkness faded into a warm smile.

"Hmm," Loki was studying them, clearly wondering what the hell had happened, and Steve assumed he'd be asking Tony as soon as he could.

"Toast!" Tony announced, handing over the stack to the two soldiers, and then his jaw dropped as he saw his Asgardian lover behind them. "Loki?"

"The very one," the god said grandly, but there was genuine happiness in his eyes. Steve wasn't sure how it had happened, but Tony and the god were as close to love as those two would admit. Tony threw himself at the taller man, arms wrapping around him.

"Do you have any Pop-Tarts? My brother let me try one and I have a craving," Loki asked when they seperated, and Tony nodded, ripping open a packet to put into the toaster.

"Speaking of, I never want to see any evidence of what you've been doing on the floor of my gym," Tony warned the two soldiers, and Steve blushed as Bucky grinned.

"What did you do in the gym?" Natasha's eyes narrowed.

"Nothing you and Clint haven't," Steve had the satisfaction of watching her blush and try to stutter out a denial. "Don't lie. I came to training and thought you were sparring. I was _so_ wrong."

"Is that when I caught you nearly sprinting away from the gym?" Tony began to laugh. Natasha winced, and Clint rolled his eyes.

"Everyone knew anyway, Nat," he told her.

"Even Bucky knew," Steve was trying not to laugh, and Bucky shot him a side-long look. _You're so full of shit_ , Steve knew exactly what look was being levelled his way without even looking. 

"Regardless, we never left any evidence and you won't either," she levelled Bucky and Steve with a glare, and they nodded, feeling like they've been thrown back to the days where Peggy Carter was staring down the new recruits. Steve remembered how she'd put some smug little shit in his place, then walking away without a second glance.

"Did she just remind you of ..." Steve murmured to Bucky when she'd walked off.

"Peggy? Yeah. Same 'no shit' attitudes," admiration glinted in dark eyes as he watched her go. "Got to admire that people are a bit more equal these days."

"Still not perfect, though," Steve murmured.

"Probably never will be," Bucky shrugged. "But it's better, and that's what counts. Although dancing's gone down hill."

"I was never any good at it anyway," the blond chuckled.

"You don't need to tell me that. Always stepping on my feet when I tried to teach you. Even the serum couldn't fix _that_ ," his boyfriend snorted.

"That bad, huh?" Clint's lips twitched. "Somehow I can't imagine a skinny kid from Brooklyn being great, but still. Also, if we hear one more fucking Disney song, we're staging an intervention,"

"Alright," Bucky almost sounded serious about it, too.

"No High School Musical," Bruce could clearly see the mischief glinting on Bucky's face.

"Dammit," he sighed.

"High School Musical?" Steve asked in a confused whisper.

"I don't know either, I just wanted to know what else they'd try and ban," Bucky responded, equally quietly so they weren't overheard. His lips curved up in a smile his old friend recognised well, because it was the same look Bucky got when he was going to do something he knew he shouldn't. "Let's go watch it."


	3. Hydra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky gets taken back to Hydra.

"Steve!" Bucky screamed, panicked, but his vision was fading, and the last thing he saw was his boyfriend's face, looking agonised as he tried to fight his way closer. Then he was gone, his conscious mind swallowed by darkness.

When he woke up, a sickening sense of déjà vu gripped him, and he closed his eyes, praying it was a nightmare. _Wake up, please, god, wake up_.

"Hello, Soldier. You've been absent for quite a while. Already forget the last lesson we taught you?" a silky voice asked, and Bucky closed his eyes. _No, I won't let them take my memories from me. Never again._

"I didn't forget. I infiltrated their ranks, didn't I? They believe I'm one of them," he purposefully made his voice emotionless, the same blank mask he'd worn every time they'd sent him out.

"I find that a little hard to believe, considering how suspicious SHIELD is," the voice noted, and Bucky craned his head, spotting the doctor who'd always seen to him after his missions, wiping his mind and repairing whatever damage had been caused.

"Why do you find that hard to believe? You're the one that programmed me," god, he hated that word. _Programmed,_ like he was nothing more than a machine, a weapon to be used and put down at their disposal.

"Yes, that's true," arrogance had always been his doctor's weakness. "Are you going to attack us if we let you up?"

"No," Bucky knew any shock or horror in his voice would be overkill from an apparently-emotionless soldier, and he was proved right when they obediently loosened his restraints.

"Have any modifications been made to your arm that we should know about?" the doctor continued.

"No. He only made a cover for it - he didn't modify it," Bucky answered immediately. "The star has been painted over, but that's hardly a significant modification."

"I suppose not," his doctor studied him. "You've cut your hair."

"Helped me fit in," and he'd hated it, reminded of what he'd been before every time he'd looked in the damn mirror.

"Of course, we can't send you out on any missions without going through your mind. Protocol," the smooth voice continued, and Bucky felt denial and hatred surging through him. _Never again._ He launched up, his metal fist closing around the doctor's throat and lifting him clear of the floor. Guns were levelled at him in seconds, but he simply smiled, cold and empty.

"Put them down, or I kill him. And as he's the only one who knows how to operate half the machinery down here, I doubt you want that," the threat worked, and the guns were lowered. He picked one up, then he was gone, running down the corridor and shooting any of the guards who got in his way. He knew that the man he held was going blue, so he loosened his grip slightly, letting him breathe for a moment before they were moving again, instinctively moving for the surface of the underground compound that he'd been kept in like a pet for so many years.

He burst into the sunlight, relieved he'd remembered the way to go. There were no guards out here, not obvious ones anyway - people would get suspicious if they saw armed men roaming the grounds day and night. There were snipers, surrounding the small compound.

"One shot, and he's dead!" he yelled. No shots followed the announcement, so he assumed they were calling into their commanders, asking for instruction. He didn't have much time, then.

"God, I hope I've still got that fucking tracker," he muttered.

"I removed the tracker in your pocket as soon as you arrived," and didn't the doctor sound _so_ smug about it.

"Not talking about that one. I've got one a bit ... deeper than that. If you haven't looked at my scans yet, you won't know where it is," he spotted two figures in the distance, one significantly smaller than the other.

"Falcon!" he shouted, waving one arm as he ran up the slopes.

"You can leave, just let him go," one of the snipers had come out of hiding, lowering his gun to the ground.

"Catch!" Bucky yelled, throwing the man he carried like he weighed nothing, and Falcon grunted, but managed to grab him, circling around towards the main carrier.

"You're going to die!" the sniper looked pleased. "You've got no protection."

"Never needed it," Bucky responded, and started firing his stolen gun. The speaker went first, then he fired his gun towards the places he knew snipers _used_ to be. Judging by the yells and curses, he hit more than one, even if it wasn't fatal. He hoped he hit something that hampered their aim, because Falcon was coming back round, skimming low over the ground.

"Get ready to grab me!" he yelled, then he was slamming into Bucky, his arms scrambling for grip as Bucky grabbed on to him, praying that the snipers wouldn't hit anything vital. The predicted shots came, but Falcon swooped to the side, evading like he had when Bucky had initially come after him, his mind a mess and his orders promising clarity.

As soon as he was on the safety of the air-craft, he crumpled to the ground. Falcon stepped away, wings folding, looking concerned.

"Buck?" Steve's voice was soft, gentle. Bucky clawed at his temples, still sitting on the ground hunched over. _Sit down_. Needles dug into his skin. _Bite on this_. The black bit went between his teeth. _Protocol_. His mind was emptied of everything except anger and bloodlust, lending him the crucial edge.

_You're our secret weapon_. Firing guns, watching so many people fall until his target was eliminated. _We need you to after someone._ Being presented with the information he needed then sent on his way. Watching them try and fight. Seeing something like recognition as that name was spoken again. _Bucky_. He cried out, curling in on himself as much as he was capable. Panic swirled through his veins, bringing unwanted memories.

_You are not James Buchanan Barnes. James Barnes died in that river. You are nothing. The Winter Soldier is all you have ..._ purpose, given to him at last, after months of deliberation. Sometimes they had left him with the fragments of nearly-forgotten memories, leaving him a stranger in his own mind, until they decided it would be better to take it all, leaving him empty but unaware of any previous existence.

_I'll be with you, to the end of the line._ Words spoken in another life, another time, but still somehow true. The panic receded as he clung to those words like a lifeline.

"I'll be with you to the end of the line," he breathed, but didn't move from where he was. After a moment, something, someone, curled around him, a solid, warm presence. Steve, he realised quickly.

"Don't," his head jerked when he heard that familiar voice so sharp and dangerous. "No, Bucky, I wasn't talking to you."

"We need to make sure ..." someone else argued.

"I said _don't_ ," Steve snapped. There was a huff, but the other person retreated.

"What do they want?" Bucky asked quietly.

"To make sure they didn't plant a bomb in your arm or something, or that they've messed with your head again," the other soldier still sounded angry, but it wasn't directed at Bucky.

"They've got to. It's ... safety checks," he said carefully. He'd heard of triggers before, and figured the litany of words that had poured through his head, all spoken in a clear, smooth voice, were some form of it.

"I won't let them hurt you," there was an infinite tenderness in Steve's voice now, and Bucky felt tears roll down his cheeks. He turned his face into the Captain's chest, refusing to let anyone see him cry.

"Get Stark to check me out," Bucky murmured. "I don't want them doing it. I want someone I know."

"I will, Buck," Steve brushed a hand over his hair, and at any other time, the soldier would probably have made some flippant comment about Steve mothering him, or going soft, but he couldn't summon up the energy. He just wants to stay like this, for as long as he can.

"We're home," Steve nudged him gently, and Bucky attempted to move, to uncurl his limbs, only to groan as a sharp, insistent ache told him that wasn't such a good idea. Then he was being scooped up, his head resting on a muscular chest, and he realised Steve was carrying him. 

"Thank you," he murmured, not sure if the other man heard him or not. He closed his eyes again, content to listen to the steady thump of Steve's heartbeat.

"What happened?" Natasha gasped the moment they walked in to the main living room (or so Bucky guessed, judging by how long he estimated they'd been moving).

"Hydra," Steve's voice was grim. "And he had a panic attack, I think."

"Don't SHIELD want him at HQ?" Bruce asked, and Bucky shivered slightly. His boyfriend's arm tightened briefly around him.

"They did," the tone in his voice didn't leave room for an argument. "Stark, he wants you to check his head and the arm for any tampering."

"Dammit, did they take the sleeve I made?" Tony sounded put out.

"Sorry, couldn't stop to grab it, I had an evil scientist to carry," Bucky nudged Steve, and the man set him down gently. The soldier swayed on his feet slightly, but there was a hand on his elbow, steadying him. He obviously looked like shit, if concern was showing on Natasha's face, of all people.

"He's being held at SHIELD," his boyfriend informed Bucky.

"Are you alright?" Bruce asked the soldier, looking worried.

"I think I'm going to go to bed," he'd be lying if he said he didn't expect Steve's arm to wrap around his waist, helping him up the stairs, and he smiled slightly when it did.

"Are you ... okay? Did they do anything?" Steve asked as soon as they were out of earshot, and Bucky shook his head.

"Tell Stark I'll come see him as soon as I wake up," he knew SHIELD wouldn't be happy, but he knew that they'd have to suck it up, at least for a few hours. "Did you think you'd come and get me and I'd be the Winter Soldier again?"

"God, I hoped not, but ... yeah I thought they'd mess with you again," the super-solder shuddered slightly, and Bucky didn't need the excuse to wrap his arms around his oldest friend.

"I'm a good actor. They thought I'd decided to infiltrate your ranks by acting like Bucky," Bucky's smile was a shadow of his usual cocky one. "I'll be fine, I just need to sleep for a bit."

"Alright," once they were in their room, Steve began to gently strip him down to his boxers.

"I never thought _you'd_ be the one taking care of _me_ ," Bucky commented, a slight laugh in his voice.

"Yeah, well, times change," Steve smiled at the irony. "Go to sleep."

"Yes, Cap," he murmured in response, and heard the snort from the chair beside his bed. He fell asleep knowing that Steve would be there when he woke up.

-

"He's officially clean!" Stark cheered, and Clint snorted. "Not like that, Barton. Well, probably like that, too."

"Officially no more traces?" Bucky asked, and the scientist shook his head.

"You're officially your own man. You're now free to explore without an escort," Tony clapped his uninjured shoulder. "I've started making another cover for your arm. Luckily, I saved the files I needed to reconstruct it."

"Thanks," the soldier glanced down at the silver metal arm, with its star ringed in red, and smiled slightly.

"We can finally show you what you've been missing, since you can probably persuade Steve to go," Clint's words had Tony grinning.

"Like strip clubs!" he clapped, and Pepper rolled her eyes (Bucky still wasn't sure how her, Tony and Loki made it work, but they managed).

"Strip clubs, hmm?" Bucky was intrigued by the prospect. There'd been a few back when he'd been a soldier, but they'd been rare things. Now, they were everywhere. Pepper left, shaking her head with a smile on her face. Clint suddenly looked serious, and Bucky looked at him quizzically.

"You knew Natasha, didn't you?" he asked, and Bucky managed to hide his shock at the topic-change.

"Yeah, I did. Natalia," he remembered her original name. "When she was just a child, I let her live, and then we became partners for a while."

"Partners?" Tony arched an eyebrow, lips twitching.

"As assassins, and sometimes more," Bucky allowed, and Clint's eyes widened in surprise. "It was never _that_ serious for either of us - we knew how dangerous our work was. Then an assassin came for her, and I never saw her again."

"I brought her back to SHIELD," Clint murmured, remembering. "She missed you, I think. I know that there was more than duty that made her want to leave."

"I missed her, too. She was ... nice to me, despite what we were, what we did. I think she remembered me from when she was younger, although she never mentioned it," Bucky sighed. "Some of the things they made her did ... they were worse than what I had to do, sometimes."

_He was standing back, watching the entire hospital burn, waiting for a familiar figure to emerge from the flames, triumphant as she always was. When she emerged, she was running, and he caught her in his arms, laughing. "He's dead," she never sounded smug, happy or satisfied. She simply sounded triumphant, content that the mission was done._

_He emerged from the bunker with blood on his hands and satisfaction in his heart. "James," she breathed against his lips, paying no heed to the blood or what she knew he'd just done._

_"Natalia!" it was the first time he'd properly screamed as the Winter Soldier, a cry born of despair and desperation. "She's gone," taken by a SHIELD assassin. Once he realised she wasn't dead, he demanded the order to go after the man who took her, to bring his greatest student and the second greatest assassin he knew back into their fold. "He's not in his right mind. Don't remove the memories, just try and ... dull the emotion." Anger, that they'd take her away, then ... calm. She was gone but that was okay. She was alive._

"That's why I didn't come after her," Bucky murmured aloud. "They took the emotions from me."

"That always was their way," her voice came from behind him, and he turned to face her. "You loved me, and then I was gone. They missed me, but not enough to risk you."

"I remember," he told her, and surprise flickered in her eyes.

"How much?" she asked quietly, moving over to Clint. He knew it was to comfort him as much as to remind her old partner that times had changed. He knew that anyway, but he appreciated the gesture on Clint's behalf, even if the archer was rarely jealous anyway - he knew that Nat didn't open up to many, and what they had was rare for her.

"The hospital fire, the bunker, and when you were taken," he answered, then hesitated. "And afterwards."

"Reminding each other that we were alive and we had each other? Yeah, I remember," she smiled in remembrance. "It never felt right, working cases alone."

"Didn't feel right after you left. They kept me on ice for years," he admitted. "Sorry for bringing it up, I just ... forgot, that not all of it was bad."

"The Red Room wasn't all bad," she said lightly. "That's what made it hard for me to accept I'd truly left them."

"James ... you had nightmares about him," Clint realised, and her cheeks warmed.

"I thought he'd died on one of our missions. I used to wake up and he'd be there to comfort me. An assassin without an anchor ... I hated it," she shuddered. "Didn't you question why I was almost desperate to come on missions with you rather than be sent on my own? It wasn't _just_ that I liked you, Clint."

"Dammit," he wasn't bitter about the admission though. He never was, about things like this. Bucky admired his maturity, because he wasn't sure it would be the same if the situation was reversed. "Why did you never try to go back?"

"SHIELD would have killed me. My survival instincts beat old loyalties, every time," she said without flinching. "For the record, I'm glad I stayed. The Red Room has harsher punishments than SHIELD, and the company's better here."

Bucky laughed. He didn't feel anything beside the same love he had for most of the people in this tower, but those memories ... he'd remembered how he'd felt for her, and it jarred him.

"I agree about the company," he grinned.

"It's like I'm in a soap-opera," Tony snorted. "Get out of my lab."

The trio left, and Bucky glanced at the pair beside him, feeling a little nervous.

"Sorry I bought it up," he offered, and Nat waved him off.

"It's in the past," he nodded in agreement. "I'm sorry it took so long for you to find yourself again. You were always so ... free when we weren't around our bosses."

"I only felt safe around you. I trusted you," Bucky shrugged. "You were the only one I could call friend - everyone else simply saw me as a weapon."

"Well, we were. They programmed us that way," she dropped a kiss on his cheek. "Don't beat yourself up about it. None of it was your fault."

Clint wrapped his arm around her waist as they left, and she leaned into him. Bucky walked into his and Steve's room, spotting a drawing pad when he glanced around. He picked it up, smiling at what he found. A sketch of Peggy, then their little apartment in Brooklyn, one of Bucky in his uniform. He continued to flick through, frowning when the emotion behind them changed. The lines were rough, almost desperate or angry, and they only formed fragments. A set of dog tags, a smile, a pair of eyes ... Bucky's mouth went dry when he recognised them. They were all of him, or some aspect of him anyway, from when Steve thought he was dead.

Then, more recently, the tone had changed again, becoming a little sad. The Winter Soldier, a look of distrust in his eyes. _Who the hell is Bucky_? had been written underneath, in small, neat letters. Then it was a sketch of the metal arm, but with the design of Steve's shield instead of the red star that had become the symbol of the men who'd used him for their own gains. He shut the book, not wanting to see any more, and turned to find Steve standing in the doorway, a sad smile on his face.

"Some people keep diaries. I draw instead," he shrugged in way of answer. "Always have done, but I think we had to burn those when it was too cold."

"I'd rather your drawings burn than your lungs give it out," Bucky retorted, smiling slightly to take the sting out of his words.

"Me too," Steve chuckled. "But now I can draw and not have to worry about keeping warm."

"I don't miss Brooklyn winters," the soldier agreed. "Oh, the tests went well. I'm clear to go outside without an escort. But Tony and Clint already have a plan."

"Let me guess, strip clubs," Steve was grinning.

"Can we go?" Bucky pleaded, eyes glinting. His old friend sighed but nodded, laughing. "I'm going to tell Tony and Clint."

Tony's triumphant shout was heard through most of Avengers Tower.


	4. Greek Gods and Goddesses AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers as Greek gods and goddesses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reference:
> 
> Thor is Zeus (God of the Skies)  
> Loki is Eris (Goddess of Chaos)  
> Tony is Hephaestus (God of Fire and Metal-Working)  
> Steve is a combination of Apollo and Persephone (God of Sun and Music and the Goddess of Spring)  
> Bucky is Athena (Goddess of Battle Strategy)  
> Clint is Artemis (Goddess of the Hunt)  
> Natasha is Ares (God of War)

 

Steve ran his hands over the grass, smiling when flowers bloomed under his touch. He brushed his hand over a lily, feeling the magic tingling across his skin. He'd adopted the name 'Steve Rogers' because he was tired of having a name that better belonged in Ancient Greece (and humans tended to swap a few names around in their mythology and fuck a lot of shit up, and he was tired of hearing that he was married to the Lord of the Underworld).

"Spring's coming," a familiar voice came from behind him, and the blond turned with a welcoming smile. James 'Bucky' Barnes, his long-time friend and recently-turned lover, lazed in the long grass like he'd been there the whole time. Hell, he probably had - Steve tended to get caught up when he walked through the meadows of Olympus like this. The god of battle-strategy looked completely at ease, watching the god of spring walk amongst the flowers.

"I know, I can sense it," Steve smiled, stretching out his arms, and it was true. He could feel the power tingling in the air. He wondered how mortals got so much wrong - 'Apollo' and 'Persephone' were one and the same, and the warmer months always made him tingle with added awareness. The colder months weren't painful for him, because he always followed the sun when it got too bad, and Bucky often came with him, a steady presence in their eternity.

"Is Stark making the new sword you asked for?" Tony was the god of metal-working, the 'Hephaestus' of mortal stories, even though he wasn't ugly and definitely not ill-favoured amongst the gods. His skill was revered amongst them.

"Yes, he is," Bucky grinned. "It's already looking incredible, Steve."

"New sword?" they turned to see Natasha, the goddess of war, leaning against the pillar of one of their temples, eyebrows raised.

"Yep," Bucky recovered from the surprise quickly. "Where's Clint?"

"Clint's gone hunting," the archer got his power from the hunt, and could spend days tracking his quarry, whether it was a corrupt human or an animal.

"Where's Loki?" aka Eris, the god of chaos, strife and discord. They liked the god, but he could wreak havoc if he felt like it. Fortunately, he had fallen for Tony and now tended to work his mischief on Earth, amongst the humans.

"Earth," she looked a little pleased about that (there was some history between those two that Steve didn't quite understand - something about Loki knowing something she didn't want him to know).

"Christ, you know he nearly wiped out New York last time," Bucky groaned.

"Rather him cause shit there than here," Natasha snorted. "And they recovered quick enough. And you know Thor's not gonna say shit because they're brothers, kind of."

"Thor's judgement _is_ skewed when it comes to that guy," Steve muttered. Their king was fair and just, but when it came to his 'brother', he was unusually forgiving.

"Want to take a trip to the Underworld?" Bucky asked. He knew that Steve liked to visit, adding life to the sometimes-depressing land of the dead. And watching the souls was a magic in itself.

"Yeah, let's go. Nick Fury doesn't give a shit if we go there, as long as we don't bother him," Steve nodded, knowing that the Lord of the Underworld preferred to keep himself to himself. "We'll see you later."

"See you later," Natasha slipped away, and they made their way to the portal that could take them to Earth or the Underworld, depending on where they wanted to go.

"The Underworld," Steve spoke clearly, before stepping through with Bucky in tow. The portal always dropped guests towards the edge of the palace grounds, where Fury lived with his assistants. The whole place was illuminated by the souls of the honoured dead - the Hyades, Chiron, Helle, the ram that became Aries, and so on.

It was a dark sky, illuminated by the silver that was completely different from the golden sun that lit up Earth. Steve loved watching flowers bloom and studying how different they looked in the strange silver light that so closely resembled starlight, although in the day, it glowed almost as bright as the Sun. It was nearing evening here now, and Steve watched flowers bloom in his wake. They stopped in the Elysian fields, greeted by the souls there.

"The gods walk amongst us," a young girl gasped. They'd come to the field of young maidens, although many did not remain 'maidens' once they came here (the field for warriors was nearby, and the Underworld wasn't the joyless place most seemed to think).

"The god of spring and his consort!" another clapped her hands, delighted.

"Dance with us," another pleaded, and music began to twist through the fields, light and lilting and beautiful. Steve smiled.

"Dance," the maidens urged, tugging the pair of them. "We know you've improved your dancing over the years."

"They're right. You're a great dancer now. I blame your affinity with music, although some of it was my tutoring," Bucky's grin was wicked. " _Dance_ , Steve."

The music wrapped around them, and Steve took Bucky's hand, smiling when they danced amongst the maidens, graceful and powerful, immortals dancing with  the spirits of the dead. The maidens looked almost as they had in life, save for a slight radiance to their skin that would have looked unnatural in the world above. Here, it simply marked them as one of the dead.

Wherever they danced, flowers bloomed in their wake, and the maidens laughed, trailing their hands over the petals as they danced around the immortals, gripping each other's hands as they danced in circles.

Bucky was the one who led, but he interpreted every little move Steve made, knowing when he wanted to go a certain way or be spun round, laughing as recklessly as the maidens were.

Eventually, they came to a stop, the music fading to a slight melody that drifted on the breeze. The maidens were laughing breathlessly as the two gods fell into the long grass, grinning.

"You dance better than you used to," Bucky allowed, his eyes sparkling.

"I have you to thank for that," Steve pressed a kiss to his lips, brief and chaste, but Bucky dragged him back down, nipping a little at his lips before they got up, flushed and happy.

"Where are you going tonight, my lords?" one maiden asked, pushing her dark hair out of her face.

"The River Lethe, eventually," Steve answered, and Bucky looked at him, surprised. Steve had always visited the river alone, and he hadn't realised that was where they were going tonight.

"Come visit us soon, please. The Elysian fields are left with new life every time you visit," she trailed her fingers over the velvet petals of a rose, smiling fondly. "Spring approaches above?"

"Yes, it does," he could tell she was remembering her life on Earth, without pain or grief. Such was the way when spirits came here - they left behind things like pain, misery and fear. The Underworld wasn't only a place of punishment, as the Elysian fields proved.

"We wish you well, my lords," she smiled, and the others girls nodded. One was slipping away, towards the warriors' fields, and Steve hid a smile. They left, making their way towards the River Lethe.

"You've never brought me with you before," Bucky  said softly.

"I know, but ... I want to share this with you," Steve squeezed his hand. "I've always found it incredible, because it's something the gods can never touch or even interfere with. It's all mortal."

They saw the river, the water shining silver, but Steve led him towards a cluster of bushes, both of them sitting down so they could still see the river.

"We won't have to wait long," Steve's voice was quiet, and Bucky peered around him, curious as to what had enchanted his lover.

After a few minutes, two spirits appeared. They were old, but love and devotion shone from their eyes every time they looked at each other, exchanging a gentle kiss when they reached the water's edge.

"It's time," the woman said, her voice soft.

"Yes, but don't worry, my love," he pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I'll always find you."

"And I will always find you," she rested her head on his shoulder. Then they slowly knelt by the water, still holding hands. With their free hands, they gathered water and lifted it to their lips.

"Another life," he lifted his hand.

"Another time," she nodded, and they both drank. They stood up, and he started laughing joyously as they watched each other with tears of joy in their eyes. It was like their lives were being reversed, and they got younger and younger. Then, teenagers again, they both embraced, tears glistening on their cheeks as they kissed one last time. Then they condensed into balls of pure golden light, mixing together to form one orb before they floated up the river, only splitting before they reached the land of the living, to be reborn again.

Bucky had tears in his eyes, he realised with some embarrassment, and he brushed them away. He stared after the two spirits in awe, trying to find words.

"Soul-mates," Steve told him, smiling warmly. "Drinking from Lethe to be reborn again."

"To find each other again," Bucky murmured.

"They don't need the power of the gods for this. It's their own kind of magic," Steve smiled. He looked a little sad for a minute. "It's not something for the gods."

"Our titles come with their own burdens," his lover agreed quietly. "But I feel honoured being able to witness this, even if we can't be a part of it."

"Let's go home," Steve wrapped an arm round his waist, and Bucky leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. It ended with them breathing a little heavily, and Steve felt his heart quicken as he saw what the couple must have seen every time they looked at each other as they approached the River Lethe.

They made their way back to the portal, stopping to kiss every few steps. They parted once they were back in Olympus, their eyes blown.

"Come on," Steve took Bucky's hand, leading him into his temple (the temples served as their homes as well as their places of worship). He led him through the place where offerings would be made in his honour, to his living quarters, and pushed his lover down on the silken sheets, revelling in how Bucky was _his._ He pressed against him, kissing as they struggled to remove each other's clothes.

Steve hissed in a breath when their skin pressed together, and he dipped his head, kissing and nipping at Bucky's throat, smiling against his skin when he heard the low curses the other god was groaning.

"Please, Steve," he groaned, head tipping back on to the pillows. The god reached for the lube (mortals certainly did invent some useful things), slicking up his fingers and continuing to trail kisses over Bucky's neck, jaw and torso as he pressed one inside him.

"God, Steve," he groaned out, nails digging into the blond's back as he writhed beneath him.

"Impatient," Steve chuckled, his lips brushing over his navel and making Bucky buck against him, his cock hard where it pressed against the other god's chest.

"More," Bucky was so fucking gorgeous when he was like this, desperate for it, and Steve obliged, sliding a second finger alongside the first, watching the flush spread across his face. He moved his free hand down his chest before wrapping his fingers round his cock.

"Steve!" Bucky arched up into the touch, a whine on his lips. "Gonna make me come."

"Wouldn't want that," Steve said lightly, his fingers loose and relaxed when he moved them, drawing a frustrated groan from above him. He knew exactly what to do to keep the man on edge, and he loved hearing him demand for more. He added a third finger without prompting, and Bucky gasped his name,  legs spreading wider.

"So slutty for it, aren't you?" Steve growled, biting at the inside of his thighs and making Bucky moan, dick twitching in his grip.

"Yes, god, _please_ ," his hair was sticking to his forehead with sweat, and Steve nodded, relishing in the whimper that removing his fingers earned him. Then he was slicking himself up and pressing in, cursing at the tight heat of him.

"Christ," Bucky sounded _wrecked_ , and Steve's hips jerked instinctively, making them both draw in a sharp breath. "Fucking _move_ , Steve."

He pulled out nearly all the way in a slow glide, then slammed back in, making the man beneath him yell out his name. Steve groaned, dropping his head against his neck as he began to move in earnest, not afraid of hurting the man beneath him as he might have been with a mortal.

"Yes," Bucky hissed, arching up. His cock was dragging against his lover's abs, and his fingers dug into his shoulder, probably hard enough to bruise. "So fucking close, Steve, please."

"What do you want?" the blond demanded, and Bucky groaned.

"Touch me," he panted. "Please."

Steve moved a hand between them, stroking in time with his thrusts, Bucky moving to meet each one.

"Fuck, _Steve_ ," he cried out, his body bowing as he came. Steve groaned, muffled against Bucky's neck, coming as he felt the other god's body clenched down. He slumped to the side, wincing slightly when he pulled out, and Bucky let out a soft sigh at the loss.

"Love it when you get so desperate for it," Steve murmured, reaching for a cloth to wipe up the mess with.

"I know you do," Bucky chuckled, stretching for a minute before he spoke again. "Is that where you go every time you visit the Underworld?"

"Nearly all the time, yeah," Steve curled closer to him, wrapping his arm around the god's waist.

"I can see why," he murmured. "It's beautiful."

"I thought you'd appreciate it," the blond pressed a gentle kiss to the skin of his shoulder.

"Do you ever wish you could drink from it? Be reborn to find me again?" Bucky asked, then flushed a little at the assumption he'd made. He was embarassed for nothing, though.

"No, I don't. I'd hate to forget even a moment of this, even if I wish we could escape our responsibilities every now and then," Steve smiled as the other's arm settled around him. "I love you, Buck."

"Love you too," the dark-haired god dropped a kiss to his forehead before he closed his eyes, content to fall asleep in his lover's arms for a while.


	5. Children of the Red Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky, Steve and Natasha all work for the people who created the Black Widow and the Winter Soldier. Bucky/Steve/Natasha in this chapter.

Steve sat in the back of the truck, Natasha and James on either side. In more private moments, they were Bucky and Natalia, but now, in front of their commanders, he was James Barnes, the Winter Soldier, and Natasha, the Black Widow. Steve was still Captain America (the title seemed to have stuck, even now), and Natalia (if you were using her real name) was the Black Widow.They were the three best assassins that had emerged from the Red Room, the serum having worked the best on Steve, but giving the other two unnaturally long lives and resilience. Bucky gained his added strength from his metal arm while Natasha got hers through sheer perseverance.

They had their target, now they were just being dropped off to carry out their mission. Steve knew they wouldn't be going back straight away, and their commanders allowed them the slight leniency because they always came back, content and waiting for their next mission.

"You know what to do," someone said, and then their commanders were gone, leaving the trio in New York City, armed with guns and Steve's shield, mostly hidden under his large back-pack. They always got settled in before going after their target, watching and waiting.

"His name is Nick Fury, and he is the main opposer to Hydra in SHIELD," Bucky stated as they walked. They were in normal clothes for now, only using the bullet-proof stuff when they were actually going after their target.

They settled into their hotel room, not really paying attention to the luxury (both Bucky and Steve have had to deal with the uncomfortable army-style cots, and Natalia's had to deal with a lot more than that).

"His car's got a tracker, and he's currently ... there," Natalia pulled out a GPS-style system, indicating the red dot that marked his location. "We've got sources that say he's going to be travelling to SHIELD tomorrow, checking something out with an old friend of his."

"This 'old friend' wouldn't be a Hydra commander, would he?" Steve chuckled. Hydra wasn't as corrupt as it was in the old days, when he'd fought against it. But it wasn't his place to question how this organisation was run - it was his place to remove threats. They wouldn't normally send so many skilled operatives, but they knew that the trio worked better together, and Nick Fury was going to be a stubborn target as it was.

"We hit tomorrow, when he's travelling?" Bucky summarised, brushing his long hair out of the way. He'd been allowed to keep his memories of Steve, just as Steve had been allowed to remember his old friend (re-establishing old friendships and bonds of trust, both of them had assumed), and sometimes, when he was like this, it reminded Steve of the old Bucky, the one who'd worked extra hours so they could keep the heater on so Steve's fragile body wouldn't give out on him, and the one who'd shared his bed more than once to keep him warm. He'd always loved Bucky, but the world had been wrong for them. Now it wasn't wrong, but they had Natalia too, and they loved her as much as they loved each other.

"Yes, we do," the red-head nodded. "You'll blow up the car, and we'll do the rest."

"Sure thing," the Winter Soldier kicked off his shoes and flopped down on the large double-bed. There was a single too, but none of them would be using that - they enjoyed the simple comfort sleeping together brought them.

"Steve, you good with that?" she glanced at him, and he nodded, running his fingers over his shield. The star in the middle was red, the same as the design on Bucky's metal arm, and he smiled fondly at it. He knew Natasha had one tattooed at the top of her spine, both Bucky and Steve brushing their fingers or lips over it on numerous occasions. It was a symbol that linked them together, and he knew they all cherished it.

"Do you two want to sleep?" Natalia asked unexpectedly, dragging them out of their own thoughts. "I'll keep watch for a while."

"You sure?" Steve asked, and she nodded.

"Being frozen doesn't count as real sleep," she said drily, and he laughed, settling down beside Bucky.

"C'mere," the Winter Soldier muttered, tugging the blond closer to him, wrapping his arms around him. Steve smiled against his chest, content. He knew if he glanced at Natalia, he'd see a soft, affectionate smile that was the most genuine he'd ever see it.

He must have fallen asleep at some point, because it was Bucky shaking his arm, light framing the curtains. His old friend was already dressed in his kit, his eyes hidden by his goggles and wearing his bullet-proof gear.

"Time to get ready," he told both Steve and Nat, who was curled against him. They were both awake in seconds (Steve had the military to thank for that, while their partner had a dangerous history to blame). He pulled on his suit, the cowl covering his face. Natasha never covered her face, because they knew her track history anyway - it wasn't finding out who she was that was difficult; it was finding _her_.

She was in a kit similar to Bucky's, but it covered more (some of them didn't have metal arms that could take bullets, she always teased). She stretched, her red hair short enough to not hinder her in combat.

"Time to go, Fury's on the move," Bucky said quietly, and opened the door. They climbed up the fire escape, Steve's shield slung across his back, and the other two with guns tucked in various holsters.

"There," Steve pointed to the dark car that marked out SHIELD, and Bucky nodded. He dropped from the buildings, nearly silent, and then he was in front of the car, sliding an explosive device along the ground. He stepped back as the car exploded, flipping over on to its roof as it skidded to a stop. Steve and Natasha dropped down beside him, Natalia dragging the man from the car.

He came out fighting (the explosion had disabled whatever defences the car had, thankfully), lashing out with all the fighting skills SHIELD had taught him and a few he'd picked up on his own, and he managed to land a punch on both Nat and Steve. But then her gun went off, once, twice, three times, and he slumped over into the dust and gravel.

"Well, that was anticlimatic," she winced, touching the bruise on her shoulder, and then they were taking off, well aware that SHIELD would _have_  to send agents to investigate what had happened and if they were caught, even the Red Room couldn't do anything for them.

The bruise was already darkening on Natalia's shoulder by the time they got back to their room, adrenaline already beginning to fade. But they'd escaped, and they'd succeeded.

Bucky crushed Steve against him in a ferocious kiss. They were never soft or gentle after a mission - before, sometimes, but never after. They needed each other too badly to be able to slow enough to be gentle.

Steve responded in kind, his hands digging bruises into Bucky's hips before he shoved him down on the bed. He pulled Natalia in, mindful of her bad shoulder, and kissed her, biting at her lips, and she gasped against his mouth.

"Fuck," Bucky groaned, watching them. Steve turned to face him, smiling slightly when he saw his friend had shrugged out of his fighting gear, stroking himself as he watched them.

"Nat, want the honours," he asked her, eyes glinting, and she nodded. She reached for her bag, emerging with a condom and a bottle of lube that she chucked to Steve. "Well-prepared, I see."

"Rogers, you never know when to shut up, do you?" Bucky groaned as she unrolled the condom over his dick. "Get over here."

Steve moved to the bed as Natalia ditched her clothes, bracing herself on Bucky's chest before sinking down, pulling a groan from both of them. Steve slicked up his fingers, kneeling between Bucky's legs, briefly admiring the sight they made, with Natalia braced over him, her nails digging into his chest, her hair falling round her face as she bit her lip.

"C'mere," Bucky pulled her down into a kiss, his hips moving to meet her every time she moved, and she groaned into the kiss. "That's it, sweetheart."

He hissed out a curse when he felt slick fingers pressing against him, his hips jerking and making Natalia groan out his name, movements faltering for a second.

"Yes," Bucky moaned as Steve added a second finger. "More, Steve, god."

He got up to three fingers before his friend was begging for him to 'stop fucking teasing me, dammit.' He had to pause for a minute to strip, with Bucky rolling his hips up to meet Natalia's thrusts. Her harsh breaths meant she was getting close, and as Steve sank into Bucky, he moved his hands round, running his fingers over her nipples and gliding his hands over her skin. He set up a similar rhythm to what Nat and Bucky already had going, making his friend cry out with each thrust.

"Please," Nat pleaded when Steve's hands moved dangerously close to her clit before gliding away again. He hid a smile in the back of her shoulder, before he pressed a thumb to her clit, hips snapping forwards when she yelled out both their names, one hand anchoring itself in Steve's blond hair, the other leaving red welts on Bucky's chest as she dug her nails in.

Bucky growled out something that _could_ be their names as he came, trying to drive himself deeper into Nat while simultaneously fucking himself on Steve's cock. Steve thrust into him twice more before the clenching of Bucky's body sent him over the edge with a groan, muffling it with a bite to Nat's neck.

"God," Bucky sighed, looking flushed and sated as Steve pulled out and Nat moved away, tossing the condom into the bin before they curled up either side of him. "I miss this, ya know?"

_"_ Me too," Steve murmured, and Natalia nodded, a gentle smile on her face.

_I live for this_. The thought remained unspoken but there nonetheless, but the expressions that were reflected on the others' faces seemed to echo the sentiment.

None of them dared say more, not when their commanders could easily take this away from them. They had to be content with these precious moments they stole, the ones that made everything worthwhile.


	6. Tony watches Game Of Thrones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony watches Game of Thrones (based off a Tumblr post)

"Winter is coming!" Tony could barely stop himself from giggling as Bucky walked into the room behind him, rolling his eyes.

"Who let him near Game of Thrones?" the soldier asked to no one in particular. Natasha winced.

"He may have started watching it with Clint and I," she admitted.

"I am a Stark, I'm allowed to make that announcement," Tony told them, and Bucky rolled his eyes.

"They all end up dead, you know. Except for ..." about five people yelled at him to shut up.

"Spoilers! I haven't caught up yet, you _know_ that," Steve looked wounded.

"Oooh, where are you up to?" Nat asked, leaning over the back of the couch.

"I just watched 'Now His Watch Has Ended', with Daenerys being a total badass," Steve said, sounding excited. "New season soon, right?"

"It's already started, and we're just past where you are. Want to watch with us?" her gaze moved to include Bucky too, and they both nodded, grinning.

"Maybe I can subtly suffocate Tony so he stops making the damn 'winter is coming' jokes," Bucky muttered.

"Just be grateful he hasn't programmed JARVIS to say that when we're having sex," Steve muttered, quiet enough to avoid the billionaire's detection.

"If he does, I'll kill him," Bucky didn't bother keeping that one quiet.

"Tony," Pepper said warningly at the delighted smile that lit up her boyfriend's face, and he sighed.

"Fine," he said petulantly, and Bucky looked relieved.

"I'm going to go work out for a bit. Coming?" Bucky glanced at Steve, who nodded. Neither of them were really surprised when Tony ran ahead of the room yelling 'Winter is coming!' because it's _Tony_ and they never expected any better from him. Judging by the way Pepper drops her head into her hands, she didn't really expect much better either.


	7. Hangover AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky are getting married, and Tony, Clint and Thor take Bucky to Las Vegas for his stag night. Shit happens that they can't fucking remember (they blame the alcohol for that)

"Tony!" Clint sounded pissed as he stumbled back out the bathroom. "Where the fuck did you get a tiger? Why is it in our bathroom?"

"Why blame me?" Tony went to move, then felt the sharp pain in his head and lay back down with a groan. He decided it was best not to question where the hell they'd managed to find a tiger.

"We discussed it, and we decided you'd be the one to put a tiger in the bathroom," Thor explained, hunting round for his shirt. "Who's thong is this?"

"Stripper's, I guess. We should go give that back," Tony said groggily, finally sitting up to peer at the dark-green scrap of material. "Bucky!"

"Fuck, Bucky," Clint's face went white. "Where the fuck is he?"

"He's not here?" Tony asked, then it seemed to hit him. "He is getting _married_ tomorrow."

"Found my shirt!" Thor announced, but the other two were still staring at each other in horror.

"I think we should go find that stripper, see what happened last night," Tony finally came up with.

"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Once we find him, we do not breathe a word of it to Steve," Clint told the others. "Natasha would kill me if she found out we nearly lost the groom."

"I'm just grateful we left Bruce with the Pepper, Nat and Steve," Tony muttered. "We do _not_ need his input right now."

"Does anyone remember what the stripper looked like or where we hired them from?" Clint finally asked.

"I think it was that place we passed as we drove in. Remember, the one with the pole-dancers?" Tony looked pleased at being able to go back there again. He may be in a relationship with Pepper, but he was in Vegas and that was a fucking recipe for disaster.

They decided best not to take the car (apart from the fact they couldn't _find_ it), and after Tony took more pain-killers than Thor deemed healthy, they were in a taxi.

"Right, let's go," the billionaire handed over one of his multitude of credit cards, praying he hadn't maxed it out. Luckily, it was accepted and they were standing in front of the bar.

"Anyone inside?" Thor squinted.

"Think so," Tony knocked on the door, and a black-haired man answered the door, his eyes widening in something like recognition.

"Does this belong to one of your strippers?" Tony asked, holding up the thong, and amusement glinted in those green eyes.

"Belongs to me," he took it. "Thanks for returning it. Pleasure to see you again."

"Can you tell us what happened last night? We can't really remember much," that caused the man to start laughing.

"Not much of a surprise - you were fucking hammered. Hey, where's the fourth one? I kinda liked him," he peered round like he expected Bucky to be standing behind them. "He's the one that dragged us to the chapel."

"Wait," Tony held up a hand. "What?"

"You really don't remember anything, do you? My name's Loki, by the way," he led them inside, sitting them down at a table. "Water, I'm guessing?"

"Please," Clint groaned. "And can you tell us what happened?"

"Well, you came in here looking for a stripper to dance for the groom. I thought you looked like fun, so I volunteered to go with you. That other one, Buck or something, said something about a wedding and made us all go to the chapel. Then he got a priest to marry us," Loki's eyes were glinting with mischief.

"Wait, I married a _stripper_?" Tony asked, stunned.

"He seems nice," Thor defended Loki, who just seemed amused by the whole thing.

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time, but I distinctly remember marrying a female stripper last time," Tony mumbled to himself.

"Don't worry, it's not legally binding," Loki took a sip of what looked like scotch, grinning. "But I had fun. Then you took me home, I stripped for you, ended up sleeping with my new 'husband', then snuck out before you woke up. By the way, that tiger does _not_ like me."

"So you were with us for most of the night," Clint generously glossed over the bit about Tony sleeping with the stripper - that seemed like a conversation he and Pepper needed to have.

"Yep," Loki took another sip of his scotch. "What the fuck did you do with the other one, though?"

"Do you not remember?" Tony sounded dismayed.

"Nope. He was with us when we went back to the hotel room. Oh, we went out again," Loki remembered. "Although I was getting pretty drunk by then. We went ... swimming. Your hotel had a roof-top swimming pool. But I'd recommend going to the chapel we got married first - the priest has some pictures, I think."

Loki ended up going with them (because they couldn't fucking remember where the chapel was). The priest's eyes widened in delight as soon as he saw them.

"Loki, Tony!" he clapped his hands. "How may I help you?"

"Can we see the pictures of last night?" Clint stepped in. Tony was clearly still adjusting to the idea he'd gotten _married_ while drunk, but he wasn't stupid enough to miss the glances the billionaire kept shooting the stripper.

"Of course," the priest nodded, flipping open a large album. "Ah, there we go."

Thor was shirtless (clearly he'd left his shirt at the hotel room by this point) and grinning like a fucking nut-case. Clint was holding a bottle of vodka or something while Tony had his arms wrapped around Loki, laughing. Loki was wearing that mischievous, amused grin, the one that had greeted them at the door this morning. Bucky was fighting Clint for the bottle and flipping him off.

"You were all very happy," the priest beamed. "Where's your friend?"

"We have _no_ idea," Clint muttered.

"Shame. He's getting married soon, isn't he?" the priest shut the book. "Want copies of the pictures?"

"Please," Loki spoke up before anyone else could, and everyone shot daggers at him. "What? I would, even if you wouldn't."

"Two sets," Tony called after the priest, and Loki's lips curved up.

"Still a challenge, even when sober. Good," the stripper laughed, eyes sparkling.

"Christ, you and Pepper need to have a serious talk when you get home," Clint groaned into his hands. "One fucking night in Vegas and we've lost the groom, one of us has gotten married and we can't fucking remember what happened."

"Did we ... prank Bucky?" Thor spoke up suddenly, squinting like he was trying to remember something he couldn't quite think of. "Something to do with carrying his bed somewhere?"

"Wait, shit," Tony swore. "We carried his mattress up to the roof, didn't we?"

"We need to check," Clint impatiently waited for the priest to get the pictures, and then they were back in a taxi, Loki still riding along with them like it was the greatest fucking adventure of the week (hell, probably was).

Tony stopped at their room to swallow down another pain-killer, before they continued up to the roof, Loki peering at the tiger before they left.

"Call animal control," he advised. "How did you even get into the hotel?"

"No idea," Thor said cheerfully as they walked outside, the sun unforgiving of their hangovers. Tony pulled on a pair of sunglasses, wincing at the brightness.

"There's the pool!" Clint squinted. _Was that a mattress?_

"You fucking assholes!" Bucky yelled, sitting at the edge of the pool in the sun, drying off (apparently he'd woke up, panicked and fell in, judging by the state of his clothes).

"We're very sorry," Tony tried for humility and almost got it.

"Hey, isn't that the stripper?" Bucky squinted. "Hey, shit, you guys got married!"

He started laughing, then winced, his fingers brushing the top of his arm through the sleeve of his shirt.

"What's up, Barnes?" Tony asked, and the ex-soldier pinned him with a glare.

"I got a fucking tattoo," he pulled up his sleeve, showing a red star.

"Hey, get that ringed in blue, white and red and you can have one that matches Steve's!" Clint barely dodged the empty bottle hurled his way.

"Where are you guys even from?" Loki asked curiously.

"New York," Tony told him when no one else did.

"Hmm. Any good? I've been thinking of moving away from here. Gets boring, once you've lived here for a while," Loki explained.

"Come with us!" Tony sounded like that was the best idea.

"Tony, no," Clint glared at him, and the billionaire flipped him off.

"I'll introduce him to Pepper!" he sounded enthusiastic. "She's a sucker for a pretty face."

"Pepper?" Loki sounded intrigued, that thread of amusement never leaving his voice.

"His girlfriend," Thor said helpfully.

"Are we ready to go home?" Clint asked. "We need to get Bucky home, even if it means a death-sentence for the rest of us."

"I got pictures!" Bucky announced, waving a camera above his head.

"Fuck," Tony swore.

"We're not deleting them," Thor said immediately.

"Well, we might want to after we see them," Bucky snorted. "I remember half of last night even if you guys don't. I was at least trying to stay a _little_ sober."

"We'll charge it up when we get home," Tony groaned. "Let's go home."

"Where's the car?" Bucky asked innocently, and Clint cursed.

"Fucking lost it," he muttered.

"No, we didn't," Bucky seemed dangerously close to laughing again. "We left it out the front of the casino, with all the chips we won inside."

"We won something?" Tony apparently still liked the idea of winning money, even if he was already rich.

"Yep," the groom was still grinning. "Enough to keep a normal man rich for years."

"Good, a fun night out," Tony said, and Loki began to laugh. "Well, come on then, let's go get the car."

Apparently, strippers didn't really take the whole 'resigning' thing seriously, at least Loki didn't when he hopped in the car with them. Bucky took one look and started snickering.

"I can't wait to see Pepper's face," he chortled. Apparently, it was all for nothing because her eyes just glinted when she glanced over at Loki, and Bucky and Clint both buried their heads in their hands because they did _not_ need the mental image of those three in their heads.

Steve remained blissfully oblivious to the temporary losing of his soon-to-be husband and the ceremony went without a hitch (although Thor was nearly caught going naked - something about tradition - and was promptly sent back to his room to get dressed), although Natasha was demanding the details from Clint as soon as they were alone (especially on the new resident of their home - Loki had decided to stay after all). She finally accepted he didn't know what the fuck had happened, and came to sit with Tony, Thor, Clint, Loki and Bucky when Tony finally asked JARVIS to display the photos.

"We can never delete them," Tony was already laughing as Clint hid his face in his hands at the first photo, of him hanging shirtless and upside-down from the rafters of the church. Then it was one of Loki that had all but Tony hiding their faces.

"I never needed to know how flexible you were," Bucky's voice was muffled by a pillow. Loki was cracking up, and Tony was grinning.

"I did, I'd forgotten," he admitted, and there were groans all around, even a pillow thrown with deadly accuracy by Natasha.

"Thor was pole-dancing!" Loki was nearly hysterical. "I remember that! You guys asked for a platform in the club, and my manager thought you guys looked hot so she gave it to you."

"Fucking hell," Clint choked out, laughing when one of Tony came up, doing shots off Loki then Thor. Then it was Bucky, doing shots off all four of them, and the ex-soldier snickered.

"I fucking remember that," he admitted. "The manager made it a competition."

"I hope we won," Tony said indignantly.

"We won the bottle of whatever we were drinking when we were in the church," Bucky answered.

"Steve can never find out," Natasha was laughing now.

"Steve can never find out what?" a voice came from the doorway, and chaos broke out.

"JARVIS!" Tony yelled, but it was too late. But Steve did nothing other than sit down, eyes already sparkling with humour.

"Carry on," he leaned back, and Bucky laughed, pressing a kiss to his husband's lips.

"We were under the influence?" he tried when the next one came up of Bucky pole-dancing (minus his shirt).

"Sure," Steve laughed, ruffling his hair. "I'm glad we don't have picture evidence."

"What did you do?" Tony turned to stare at him and Natasha, who were the pictures of innocence.

"We may have taken a trip away from home ..." she evaded.

"Nat," Clint's lips were twitching.

"Okay, we may have gone to Vegas too," she admitted. "Pepper was the one who asked Loki to dance for your group and drunk-marry Tony. She liked him."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Tony groaned, pinning Loki with a _look_. "You pretended like you didn't know who Pepper was."

"Hello, I knew who the two of you were the moment I saw you," he snorted. "The great Tony Stark, genius billionaire playboy philanthropist, and Pepper Potts, the woman behind it all. Hell yeah, I was up for it."

"Got more than you bargained for, though," Tony snorted. "Shit!"

"What? And nope, I don't think I did," Loki gave him a quick kiss. "But, back to the photos."

"Did we call animal control?" Tony asked, his eyes wide, and there was a moment of complete silence before everyone started laughing.

"Oops," Loki shrugged, and that seemed to sum up the entirety of their trip.

"I can't believe you went to Vegas too," Bucky muttered to Steve when the slideshow continued.

"Hello, who do you think was the one who pushed your mattress into the pool? They just left you on the roof," those blue eyes were alight with mischief.

"You bastard!" Bucky gasped, and shoved him off the couch. His husband was cracking up. "They put me in the pool!"

_No shit_ , Natasha's eyes seemed to say, and they settled back to watch the slideshow without another word (but if Bucky 'accidentally' shoved Steve off the couch again, well, there's no proof of it).


	8. Roadtrip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Clint, Tony, Loki and Pepper go on a road-trip / camping-trip in buses that Tony decided to decorate. (There's Steve/Pepper/Loki/Tony/Bucky in this chapter)

Tony was still sulking about Sam being able to out-fly him with his wings when Clint suggested they all go on a road-trip.

"I'm pimping out the buses," Tony warned them. "Double-decker. Two couples per bus."

"Does that mean ..." Clint groaned.

"Yes, I'm getting Loki to come with us," the billionaire glared at him. "And since your girlfriend spied on me and put me on house-arrest once, you can't bitch about it."

"Stark, you bring that up every fucking time you want something to go your way," Natasha folded her arms. "But a roadtrip does sound like fun."

"Double up!" Tony whooped. "Sam's not coming."

"Sam's actually got work to do, anyway," Falcon snorted. "Call me when you get back, Rogers. You're kinda fun to run with."

"You're an ass," Pepper folded her arms. "I'm assuming you, me and Loki are on one bus?"

"Yep," the billionaire nodded. There wasn't really that much pairing off to do, since Tony and his boyfriend and girlfriend were on bus, that left Clint, Natasha, Bucky and Steve on the second bus (Bruce had opted to stay home, and Thor was visiting Jane)

Tony had the buses pimped out in two days, with bedrooms across the top-deck (somehow managing to install a private shower and bathroom at the end with reasonable plumbing that was beyond everyone else). He'd even installed walls between the rooms, much to everyone's surprise and relief. There was room for their stuff upstairs, and there was a cinema room on one bus, a music system on another, and fire-wood and food (including marshmallows) stored on both of them.

"Because if it's warm, you can bet that we're having a camp-fire," Tony said in way of answer, and everyone shrugged. Then they were off, the eccentric scientist leading the way.

Loki had turned up in time, much to Clint's consternation and Tony's amusement. The god always greeted Tony with a snarky comment and a kiss that should never be seen in public, but he always smiled at Pepper like she was some kind of gift. It made Steve respect him a little more.

Tony had been blaring annoyingly-perky pop songs until Pepper switched the CDs to something a _lot_ better.

"AC/DC!" Bucky cheered (both he and Steve had done a lot of catching up in Avengers Tower, with Tony giving advice through JARVIS on what they should catch up on, once Pepper had told him to be nice about what he made them watch and listen to).

Since Tony was leading them to some mystery place, Highway to Hell being blasted through the two buses wasn't exactly reassuring, but they decided to let it go.

Natasha laughed as the two soldiers began to sing along (loudly, but not _that_ badly), and Clint rolled his eyes. She was driving, and he was sat against the wall opposite. Bucky glanced at him, and had the satisfaction of not being greeted by sarcasm (for once). Instead, Clint was watching Natasha, and his look of reverence felt like something that Bucky should just leave alone. He knew the feeling well enough, like he couldn't quite believe she was real and was _his_.

He shook off the sappy thought, joining Steve for an enthusiastic duet of the chorus.

"Barnes, Rogers, we can hear you from the other bus," Stark's sarcastic voice came over the speakers.

"Not our fault you installed walkie-talkies in the buses," Bucky yelled, and he could almost see the man flipping them off from the driver's seat (Loki was going nowhere near the wheel, and Tony would insist on Pepper relaxing after all the work she does for Stark Industries).

"How much do you wanna bet that Pepper and Loki are getting it on just to frustrate Stark?" Clint asked, grinning.

"I'm not taking that bet - it's a sure thing," Bucky laughed.

"You fuckers," Tony's voice growled over the speakers, but something in his voice told them that they weren't wrong.

"Go ahead, Tony, tell us they're not at least half-naked," Bucky challenged.

"They're ... not?" Stark said, a little weakly, and the four of them burst out laughing (even Natasha was grinning).

"I knew there was a reason we liked them," she laughed. "And Stark, if they start getting loud, you better shut this line off."

"Don't worry, the speaker's only near me," he said, sounding a little more like his cocky self. "I kind of expected this."

"Of course you did," Clint snorted. He glanced back when the singing stopped, and found the two soldiers wrapped up in each other. "Oh, come _on_."

"Don't be jealous because it's your girlfriend driving, Hawk," Bucky's answering grin was wicked, and Steve blushed all the way to the tips of his ears.

"Doesn't mean I have to watch you two go at it," the archer rolled his eyes.

"Barton, didn't know you were into watching," Tony's voice cackled over the speakers again, and Bucky burst out laughing. Even Steve was grinning. Natasha threw a smile her boyfriend's way, and he rolled his eyes.

"I feel picked on," he told no one in particular, and a soft gasp came over the speaker. "Shit, Tony, that better not have been you."

"Nope," although there was a slight whispering in the background, followed by feminine laughter in the background. "But I'm shutting the speakers off now."

"Thank god," when no retort came, everyone visibly relaxed.

"How much do you wanna bet that Loki and Pepper got bored and decided to wind him up?" Bucky had a knack with putting images in people's heads when they did _not_ want them there. Although if the way Steve's breathing hitched slightly, too quiet for the other two to catch, he didn't mind them _that_ much.

"Really? Those three?" Bucky arched an eyebrow. "Come on, upstairs."

"So which one is it? Loki, Tony or Pepper? Or all three?" Bucky wasn't one to waste an advantage. His voice dropped, deepening, and Steve shifted uncomfortably where he was sat on the edge of their bed. "Or is it the idea of Stark, unable to speak because of Loki's cock in his mouth?"

Blue eyes widened, and a slight flush crept up Steve's neck as he watched his boyfriend, licking his lips like he wasn't even aware what that did to the man in front of him (he was well aware, he just liked seeing Bucky's teeth digging into his lip when he followed the movement).

"Or is it Pepper, always so done up in those business suits, desperately wanting the _both_ of them to take her apart because they know just how to do it," Bucky's lips brushed his ear, smiling slightly when he heard a quiet whimper. "Or maybe it's that Loki gives it up to two _humans_ , both knowing exactly how to drive him _insane_."

He could see that Steve was moving his hips, his body rocking slightly, and his lips curved up, his eyes glinting. He loved when he could get his boyfriend on edge by simply _speaking_ , the words enough to make him hard and desperate for it.

"Would you like to watch?" he murmured, his voice a little husky now. "Watch Loki use his mouth to finish Pepper off while Tony fucks him like he's got something to prove? Of course, I'd be on my knees, helping you ..."

Steve couldn't help the groan that tore from him, and Bucky's answering grin was wicked, his hand sliding down his front to cup his hard cock through his jeans.

"Would you like that?" the question was brushed against his lips, barely any space at all between them, and Steve grabbed him by the shirt, rolling so Bucky was straddling his hips, grinning down at him.

"I think you'd manage to get off like that, too, you know," Steve said, almost conversationally, like Bucky wasn't grinding his hips in filthy little circles that made their breathing stutter. "On your knees, hearing them but being unable to watch ... you'd _love_ it."

"So what if I did?" Bucky panted, unable to keep his voice even. "You fucking love it when I get off because I'm sucking you. Making a mess in my pants like I'm a goddamn teenager again ..."

Steve's hips jerked up, grinding them together, and Bucky's laugh was lost to a low moan, his eyes fluttering shut as he continued to move, pressing their bodies together.

"Gonna make me come in my trousers now? Or are you gonna touch me?" the challenge was clear, but Steve wasn't in the mood.

"I'm not gonna touch you. You're going to get on your knees," his voice was soft now, all steely-edges that made Bucky whimper as he slid off the bed, kneeling between Steve's spread legs. He unbuttoned his jeans, pulling his cock free, and let his breath tease the man above him for a minute before he moved closer, sucking lightly at the head.

"God," Steve said raggedly, that moment of composure gone. Bucky took him deeper, one hand working what he couldn't reach. His left hand was out of view, but Steve leaned forwards, groaning when he saw the metal slipping into his jeans, touching himself. "Christ, Buck."

"Imagine how much better it'd be if you were watching them," Bucky's voice was rough when he pulled off, but it was only for a second before he was sucking him back down, his tongue trailing across the vein on the underside, teasing the nerves behind the head.

And fuck, Steve could imagine it, too. Pepper groaning as Loki's tongue and fingers work together to completely unravel her while Tony fucked the god hard and fast in a way that only Loki would be able to take without hurting him. Loki would be groaning out words in a language none of them could understand, but the hoarse tone of his voice was unmistakeable. Pepper's cries would ring through the room, before she slid away from him, stretching over him so she could finish him with her mouth while Tony continued fucking him. The god's head would fall back with a low moan of their names as his body arched up, and Tony would groan out his name as he fucks him through both of their orgasms ...

_"_ Fuck!" Steve hissed. "Bucky, I'm gonna ..."

"No one's stopping you," still so fucking snarky, even now, but then his lips were sealing around the head of his cock and he was swallowing everything, his groan muffled as he came into his own hand.

"Like the mental image, huh?" he finally asked when he moved to stretch out beside Steve on the bed.

"You jerk," Steve said with no real malice.

"If I'd been a jerk, I would have let you suffer through that alone," Bucky laughed. "Gotta say, you surprised me. Didn't think you were that kinky."

"Well, a lot more is acceptable now," the excuse sounded weak, even to him.

"Nah, I just think you hadn't had a chance to explore enough," Bucky teased. "But now you've got me and whoever else you fucking want."

Steve actually _blushed_ , which was a little hilarious considering what they'd just done. But he'd always been like that - Bucky remembered how embarrassed he'd gotten back in Brooklyn, when Bucky got home after meeting with a girl, and how he'd go into as much detail as he could just to watch him squirm.

"Get decent, we're turning off somewhere," Clint shouted, not coming up the stairs, and the pair righted their clothes (Bucky wiped his hand off on the tissues that had been left in the little cabinets beside the beds - Tony's input, no doubt), quickly rejoining Clint on the bottom floor.

"Don't wanna know," he said before Bucky even opened his mouth, and the soldier grinned but didn't say a word.

"Where are we?" Steve asked instead, and the archer seemed to exhale in relief when he realised no graphic details were going to be shared.

"Some private beach. Apparently Tony owns it," he rolled his eyes. "Go figure."

"At least we don't have to worry about other people littering or anything," the super-soldier pointed it out, his ears going a bit pink at the edges, and Bucky smothered a snigger. _At least we won't be interrupted if we sneak off_ , he knew the other meant, even if he wouldn't say it out loud.

"Yeah, okay," Clint clearly got the same vibe, and eyed them suspiciously. "Nowhere near the camp-site, understand? I do _not_ want to stumble over you guys."

"Same for you two," Bucky's grin was aimed at Natasha, who laughed (she seemed more relaxed now that her past wasn't much of a secret any more - of course, to Bucky, it never really had been).

"You won't have to worry about us," Steve's words had the archer relaxing until he continued. "Worry about Tony and Loki. Pepper would have more sense but they wouldn't."

"Don't bother having a word with him. You know it won't do much good, and he'll do it just to piss you off," Nat warned, and Clint sighed.

"I used to have to help SHIELD take care of threats like you guys. Where did I go wrong?" he asked, and Steve started laughing.

"You worked for Coulson," which seemed a pretty adequate answer - after all, it was Coulson and his team who'd been sent to New Mexico to safe-guard Thor's hammer after babysitting Tony for a while.

"And I got stuck as Natalie Rushman," Natasha wrinkled her nose. Although Bucky remembered her as Natalia, a fellow child of the Red Room and a partner, there was no question in his mind that she was Natasha now, a good friend and a great assassin. She'd left that part of herself behind when SHIELD had taken her in, just as Bucky had left the Winter Soldier behind.

"Can't believe you posed as an underwear model for cover. Bet Stark had a field day," Bucky laughed, and she flipped him off.

"He did. But I kicked his friend's ass. Arrogant, sexist pig," her lip curled. "I told him I'd fought before, and he belittled it because I was a woman."

"So you put him on his ass," Clint surmised.

"And nearly strangled him with my legs," she added smugly. "Without even breaking a sweat."

"Nice," Steve laughed.

"Do you remember that time when you went to get your hair cut for the first time after you joined SHIELD?" Clint began fucking _giggling_ , and Steve and Natasha both shared a quizzical look.

"You _bastard_ ," Bucky narrowed his eyes, but his lips were beginning to curve up into a razor smile.

"What did you _do_?" Natasha demanded.

"I may have told his barber to give him something slightly different from what everyone else had in mind," Clint began to laugh until tears ran down his face.

"You made him try and give me a _mohawk_ ," Bucky sounded appalled.

"Oh my god, I remember. That was _you_?" Natasha snorted. "First time SHIELD's ever had to cover up a near-death experience due to scissors. Then we snuck you out the back with half your head shaved."

"You didn't leave your room for months," Clint choked out.

"You made me trim your hair because you said I used to trim it for you back when we were younger," Steve began to laugh. "You cut it roughly so it was about the same length once it had grown out, didn't you? I remember it being uneven."

"I made JARVIS tell me when everyone was asleep so I could sneak out," Bucky glared at Hawkeye. "I attempted to get revenge, but Natasha wouldn't let me."

"You snuck into our room with a razor. You said you only wanted to piss him off," she started laughing. "But you looked a little angrier than that."

"You tried to kill me?" Clint sounded offended.

"No! Only give you a mohawk but Natasha wouldn't let me near your neck with a razor," Bucky glared at her, and she shrugged.

"We're here!" Tony's voice sounded suspiciously breathless, but no one commented on it, or the snicker that they heard in the background. They parked up beside him, and the passengers realised they'd driven down some kind of dirt track, their buses ending up on the very edge of the sand.

"Wow, Tony, this is actually really cool," Steve stated when he looked around the small cove, sheltered by cliffs from the wind but still able to get the sun. The sea was clear and calm, and the billionaire looked around with pride.

"The tide won't get past there," he pointed to a place about two-thirds down the beach, and the others nodded, trusting him to know what he was doing. "Right, start off-loading everything!"

"This isn't really a road-trip, is it?" Bucky asked the scientist as everyone began grabbing fire-wood and food.

"Not in the sense that we're going to spend a month just driving, no. More like 'we've got these buses so we can now take brief holidays to this beach whenever the fuck we want'," Tony shrugged. "I like it."

"So do I," Bucky murmured, which was probably as close to a compliment as the other man would ever get from him. By the time the sun was setting, there was a fire burning and Tony had found the massive logs he'd brought with them 'for seats'. Clint and Natasha were sitting on one, Steve and Bucky on the second, and Tony, Loki and Pepper on the third.

"I wish Bruce would have come with us. He'd have liked it here," Steve commented as someone dug around for the bags of marshmallows.

"He can come next time. He was probably grateful to be in the lab without being bothered," Tony shrugged, taking a long gulp of his drink. It was alcoholic, but not very - no one would be wasted tonight.

"True. You're like a fucking ghost in that lab," Clint snorted.

"Yeah, don't start that. I know you fucking perched on top of my fridge to give me a heart-attack at 3am," Tony rolled his eyes, and everyone glanced between them. "Oh, if he knows I'm still awake, he'll do this _hilarious_ thing where he sits somewhere and just stares into space. Fucking scares me to death half the time."

"It's hilarious," Hawkeye shrugged in response to Natasha's half-curious, half-amused look.

"Oh, we found out who was responsible for the mess with Bucky's barber," his girlfriend announced, and everyone in the group chuckled at the memories. "Clint told the poor man to give him a _mohawk_."

"I would have paid good money to see that," Tony snickered. Loki's gaze turned calculating as he looked at the soldier, and Bucky shook his head with a warning look.

"Don't you fucking dare," he warned.

"Oh, don't. He was holed up in my goddamn tower for months, darting out like a fucking wraith to get food when he thought people were asleep while his hair grew back," Tony shook his head, and Bucky looked startled.

"JARVIS told me no one was awake," he said cautiously.

"Because I told him to exclude me. If he'd reported every time I was awake, you'd never have eaten. And plus, you running to the kitchen was kind of entertaining in my sleep-deprived state," Tony grinned. "Sorry, but at least I didn't take pictures."

"Bet JARVIS did," Steve muttered, smothering a laugh when he saw the panicked look his old friend shot him. He didn't try and argue that it wasn't true - if there were any, he wanted to see. He'd been sent on a mission as soon as SHIELD had found Bucky (something about him interfering with the process of making sure he was clean of any of Hydra's influence), so he'd only seen the messy hair that was nearly even when he got back.

"Roasted marshmallows!" Tony announced when Pepper finally located the bag, and passed them out. He gave them a fork or a knife each so they could hold them over the flames without getting burned. "I'd recommend taking the burnt outer-shell bit off before you eat it."

"Fuck, it's on fire," Bucky looked faintly alarmed.

"It's fine, just let it for a second, then blow it out," Clint reassured him, grinning, before he bit into his own marshmallow. "God, that's good."

Bucky hummed his agreement, licking his lips clean of the sticky marshmallow, and reaching for another one, only to have his hand slapped away.

"Even shares," Tony told him, eyes glinting.

"But I've never had them before - rations were tight in World War 2," Steve began laughing when Bucky pulled _puppy eyes_ on Tony. However hilarious it was to watch, it got them extra marshmallows, much to Clint's disgust. Natasha was just laughing when Bucky winked at her, tossing her one.

"How long we staying here?" the soldier asked curiously.

"A few days, maybe? Brought enough fire-wood to," Tony snorted. "Might as well."

"Good. We could use a break," Clint managed to steal a marshmallow from Steve without Tony noticing, and grinned triumphantly.

"Well, I'm sure Bruce'll call us if there's anything major that needs our attention," Natasha said reasonably. "Although he's probably buried in the maze of Tony's labs."

"He's probably enjoying himself," Pepper added, which was true, but Steve kind of wondered if Bruce felt like he _had_ to be on his own, in case the other guy showed up.

"Well, next time, he's coming," Tony said determinedly, probably following a similar train of thought. "Oh, we've got bacon and sausages for breakfast. For now, I'm kinda tired."

He almost pulled the lie off, too. But Loki's wicked smile and Pepper's slight blush kind of ruined it.

"Alright, let's go to bed," Bucky laughed, grabbing Steve's hand. "Soundproof walls, right?"

"Yes, because we learnt from that mistake at Avengers Tower," Tony rolled his eyes. "Not very quite, are you, Cap?"

Steve blushed, and his boyfriend just grinned as he tugged on his hand again until the super-soldier followed him back to their bus, making sure the door was shut tightly (their room was at the end, with Clint and Natasha's just before the bathroom).

The moment the door was shut, Bucky had Steve against the wall, nipping at his lips and sliding hands beneath his shirt. He'd never been shy in going after what he wanted, and he wasn't now, smiling into the kiss when he heard Steve's quiet whimper.

Steve never backed down though, not even here, and he cupped Bucky through his jeans, chuckling quietly when he sucked in a sharp breath.

"I wonder if your _fans_ know how desperate you get for it," Bucky couldn't fucking shut up in the bedroom, never could, but he didn't have to because Steve fucking _loved_ it. "How fucking eager the great Captain America is to get naked, hmm?"

"I wonder if they know I've seen the great Winter Soldier coming," Steve hit back, and the surprise of it made Bucky laugh. The mention of his past should have made him flinch, and most of the time it did, but now it just made him grin against Steve's throat, biting and sucking at the skin exposed to him.

"Wonder if they'll ever realise a Soviet assassin has been defiling a national icon," Bucky licked up the column of his throat, his breath brushing against his ear. "Wonder if they'll ever realise how many times I've had their great _Captain_ on his knees in the bathroom when he should be giving interviews."

Steve groaned, his hands sliding under Bucky's thighs and lifting so he was pinned between him and the wall, legs wrapping around his waist.

"God, yes, that's it," Bucky could hear the breathy, rough edge in his voice clearly, and grinned. "Gonna get naked, or you gonna make us come in our jeans like teenagers?"

"Had my fill of that when we were young," Steve murmured, letting Bucky's feet hit the floor as he shrugged out of his own clothing, letting the other do the same. The mention of their past made Bucky's breathing hitch, because he barely thinks of that any more. He only thinks of their joint past when he's feeling nostalgic, or Steve's giving speeches for the anniversary of Captain America, or something. He can remember it now, the way he always had to be careful because of Steve's asthma, but the way his whole body would tremble under Bucky, fucking perfect even then when he came with a low cry of his name. Of course, it was still illegal, so they hadn't gone all the way, not then. But he remembered the nights that hadn't been because they needed to keep warm, but because one of them hadn't been able to resist, and they'd both been caught up in it. He'd always been worried afterwards; about Steve's health, about someone finding out, about the _war_ , everything. But they'd had each other, and that had been all they'd needed. Seventy years on, and they still had that.

"Steve," he groaned, head falling back when the super-soldier pushed him down. He hit the mattress, hissing in a breath when Steve's full weight pressed down on him. Steve laughed quietly, and he shouldn't be able to _laugh_ when Bucky's desperate for him to _fuck him_ dammit. He arched up with a slow glide of his hips, smirking when he heard Steve's quiet curse. He pulled him down for another kiss, biting down on his bottom lip just to feel the way the blond jerked against him.

Then slick fingers were pressing against him, and Bucky was whimpering the other's name, his fingers, both metal and human, digging into his shoulders. The roll of Steve's hips was deliberate, a sweat-slick glide of skin that made Bucky _whine_ , a sound he might be ashamed of if he wasn't out of his fucking _mind_.

"Steve!" he snarled out when a second finger entered beside the first. "I'm not going to break!"

"I don't want to hurt you," Steve murmured, kissing him before he could answer. Then he was stretching him with a third, despite the protests, before he was pulling out. Then he was pushing in, and Bucky's head was falling back, feeling so fucking _full_ that he could barely breathe.

"Steve," Bucky forced his eyes to open, meeting blue eyes above him. "I want you to fuck me like I know you can. Fuck me so I can feel it for _days_."

"God, you can never shut up, can you?" Steve punctuated the question with a sharp snap of his hips, driving him deeper and making Bucky choke on his name.

"You don't want me to," he panted, his hair sticking to his forehead. "Fucking love me like this, don't you?"

Steve didn't bother to answer him, just started moving in earnest, building up to a pace that had Bucky yelling out his name, nails dragging down his back and leaving welts in their wake. If anything, that just spurred him on, slamming into Bucky's prostate with deadly accuracy.

"God, Steve, I'm gonna ..." he panted, his dick trapped between them and slicking their skin with precome.

"Want you to. Want you to come untouched just from this," Steve's voice was rough, so _unlike_ his normal, calm voice that Bucky was crying out, arching up as he came.

"God, so fucking gorgeous when you come, Buck," Steve kissed him, his own groan muffled against his lips as he came, fucking them both through the aftershocks before he collapsed beside him, sweaty and satisfied.

"Always knew you liked my ability to never shut up," Bucky's words had a tired laugh coming from the man beside him.

"I like your mouth for more than that," his eyes glinted, and Bucky snorted.

"Well, yeah, but can't really talk much like that," that earned him a half-hearted jab to the side, and he grinned as he wiped them both off and pulled the blankets over them. He fell asleep with his head resting on Steve's chest and his arm wrapped around his waist.

-

"Food!" Clint slammed a fist on their door before he left, and Steve and Bucky nearly fell out of bed in their haste to reach for clothes. Steve blushed and averted his eyes when they hurried through Clint's and Natasha's room when they saw the red-head was still in bed, half-covered by sheets and yawning, rumpled. Bucky just grinned.

"You look so cute when you're sleepy," he teased, and she flipped him off.

"Fuck off, Barnes," she muttered, pushing her hair back. The sheet fell down to her waist, and Bucky snickered, his gaze on Steve as the blond's face burned.

"Either someone's ashamed to be looking, or still a bit of a virgin at heart," she noted.

"See you outside," Steve stammered and all but bolted from the room. Outside, he shoved Bucky against the wall, since he was still grinning. "Did you tell her?"

"No!" his best friend was laughing now. "She's smart, and I didn't realise you were into the group thing in general."

"I can hear," Nat's voice was amused when she pushed open the door, dressed in comfortable shorts and a loose-fitting shirt (Bucky knew she never wore skirts without being on a mission - they were a pain in the ass to fight in half the time). "And you owe me an explanation."

"Um ..." Steve panicked, and Bucky laughed. 

"I found out some interesting things when getting him off," the soldier's grin was wicked, and Steve groaned, burying his head in his hands.

"Don't worry, Cap, your secret's safe with me," Natasha was smiling now. "But out of interest, who were you ... discussing, since I doubt it was me?"

"Loki, Pepper and Tony," Steve finally admitted, glaring at his friend the entire time.

"Your secret's _definitely_ safe with me. I wouldn't subject you to Tony's torment, even if he and Loki probably _would_ invite you in on it," she laughed. "Let's go, I'm starving."

"I can guess why," Bucky snickered, and she rolled her eyes.

"Like you're any better than me," she nudged him.

"Definitely not," he chuckled. He paused for a minute, like he was considering something. "You seem ... happier now."

"I am. Aren't you?" she tilted her head as they walked down the stairs. "We've all found something worth fighting for, rather than simply having more orders to follow. I like having that, even if it's taken me a while to learn to relax and not be afraid of losing it."

"Not being afraid that you're gonna wake up and it'll all be a dream?" Bucky's voice was surprisingly understanding, and his gaze flicked to Steve.

"Yes. And you certainly don't seem to be dwelling on your past, either," she had a gentle smile on her face when she glanced between them.

"No need to," Bucky shrugged. "Unless I'm remembering this idiot getting into more fights than he could handle."

"I was doing just fine," it was an old argument, an automatic one really, but Steve fell into it every fucking time. It made his boyfriend smile.

"I know, I know, you had them on the ropes," Bucky imitated him, and Steve laughed.

"I've seen the pictures of you before, Cap," Natasha was laughing, too. "If you had the amount of courage you have now back then, you'd have been getting into fights all the time."

"Big man in a little body," Bucky nudged him. "And then Howard Stark and that Erskine guy gave you the body you'd always needed, hmm?"

"Helped in fights, definitely," Steve grinned as they stepped outside. "Mmm, bacon."

"Oh, good, you _are_ alive," Tony was handing out mugs of coffee (none of them were really sure where he'd gotten that - maybe he'd installed a coffee machine on his bus), and everyone took one gratefully while they waited for food.

"We're having sandwiches," Pepper told them as Steve moved to help her. Bucky moved to follow, but Clint grabbed his arm.

"I don't trust you near my food," he said flatly, and Bucky began to laugh.

"Wise man," he sat down, stretching his legs out. He'd earned that distrust, and he knew it, ever since he'd moved into Avengers Tower and taken to stealing bits of food from people (his life had flashed before his eyes when Thor came back to discover the last of his Pop-Tarts were missing). He'd refrained from stealing from Bruce, simply because he figured that the other guy might not take too kindly to that (and Bruce tended to eat a hell of a lot more than his size suggested - maybe it was a metabolism thing since the Hulk probably used up a hell of a lot of energy).

"Buck," Steve handed him a sandwich, which was as much for everyone else's sake as for his boyfriend's - they'd all learned that if Bucky had his mouth full, he wouldn't be stealing food from anyone else any time soon.

Apparently, Tony had worked out the same thing about Loki because that's where the next food went. The god looked satisfied as he settled against his back against the log, his legs stretched out on the sand. Steve never figured he'd see the god in shorts and a short-sleeved shirt, like what the rest of the guys were wearing, but he actually looked at home here, even if he looked like he was pale enough to have a bitch of a sunburn later (Steve hoped he didn't - they'd never hear the end of it).

Pepper was in shorts and a tank, smiling slightly as she rested her head on Loki's stomach as she lay on a towel (the sand really was a bitch to get out of your clothes).  Loki seemed to be sat on the edge of it, as eager to avoid the sand as the rest of them. Clint had already brought a towel outside, and Natasha arranged it so she was leaning against the log and his legs, enjoying the sun. Steve, Tony, Bucky and Clint were content enough to sit on the logs they'd brought out the night before.

Everyone was thankfully silent while they ate, even Tony, and it was the kind of silence that wasn't awkward at all, it was just ... peaceful, like no one could find the energy to be bothered to talk or offer up a sarcastic comment (for a change).

"So, how long do you guys wanna stay here?" Tony asked once he'd gotten up to grab drinks from the fridges he'd installed on the buses (apparently, he'd had a lot of fun installing shit in these buses, even in the short time he'd worked on them).

"Maybe one more night?" Steve asked when no one else spoke up, and there were a few nods.

"We haven't got enough fire-wood to stay for much longer than that anyway," Pepper pointed out, her eyes still closed.

"So who's afraid to skinny dip?" Tony asked, a slight grin tugging at his lips.

"Me and Natasha are wearing bikinis at least," Pepper warned him without even glancing at his expression, and he rolled his eyes.

"I expected that. I was wondering who's more likely to chicken out - Steve or Clint," Tony's grin was wicked.

"I'm okay with it," Steve shrugged, and he was. Between Bucky's praise and what the serum had done, his self-confidence had risen considerably, even if he hadn't been _that_ ashamed back in those days. He still remembered standing with the rest of the soldiers, all of them towering over him, and he just stared defiantly back when they glared at him.

"Don't care," Clint shrugged. That, of course, prompted Tony to challenge them to prove it, so while Natasha and Pepper slipped back inside to change, everyone else stripped out of their clothes, running for the water. Clint nearly face-planted the sand thanks to Tony attempting to trip at least one of them up, but soon they were all up to their necks in the water. Bucky had decided to hitch a ride and was clinging on to Steve's back, limbs wrapped around him like a child while the super-soldier attempted to swim or splash him or something.

"You're an idiot," Steve complained, laughing. "You _can_ swim, right?"

"Of course I can," Bucky sounded indignant, before he grinned. "Just prefer not to."

"Jerk," Steve groaned, trying to pull him over his shoulders to drop him into the water (harder to do while treading water, believe it or not).

"Punk," Bucky hit back, eyes sparkling. "I'm just grateful this arm still works in water."

"Probably be a pretty big design flaw if it didn't," Steve agreed, apparently deciding to leave his boyfriend where he was.

Loki was laughing, wrestling to push Tony under the water while Pepper watched, shaking her head but giggling when Loki motioned her over to help. She dove on Tony's back, and he sputtered in surprise as the pair finally managed to push him under water with a victorious cry.

Natasha was diving for Clint's ankles, and he was grinning as he tried to avoid her hands. Then he yelped as she dragged him under the water. She popped up a minute later, eyes sparkling, and Clint burst out of the water behind her, trying to grab her. She dodged easily, her lips curving into a mischievous smile. Bucky was glad to see her relaxed for once, but then he began to feel like he was missing out on something.

"Buck, don't you ..." the rest of the sentence was muffled as the soldier dragged Steve under the water, grinning. He felt strong arms wrapping around him, dragging him deeper before the blond wass pushing away from him.

"Sorry, Stevie, had to," Bucky was laughing when they burst out of the water, rubbing water from their eyes.

"You jerk," Steve lunged for him, grabbing him by the waist and driving them both beneath the water. He heard Tony cheering for him before the sound was muffled by the water.

"Eugh, truce," Bucky laughed when they emerged spitting water out of their mouths (well, he was - Steve had been a little more prepared for the sudden dive).

"Deal," Steve laughed.

"Boring!" Tony yelled from where he was clinging to Loki's back, clearly deciding he'd be safe there. The god seemed to realise something, and was grinning wickedly when he fell backwards, pinning Tony under the water with his weight. The billionaire was spluttering when he came up for air, and Pepper was cracking up. At least she was until Loki dove on her, but she managed to twist out from under him before they both went under.

Steve and Bucky shared a look, then both dove under the water, swimming straight for the god's legs. They grabbed him and _pulled_ , having the satisfaction of hearing a yelp, clear even through the water. Then they burst out the water, frantically swimming backwards to be clear of the Asgardian when he came back up for air.

Natasha was applauding them, and Clint glanced at Tony then Bucky, eyes narrowing in speculation.

"Don't you dare, Hawk," Bucky warned, and the assassin looked thwarted. "I didn't say I wouldn't help you with the other one."

They both dove for Tony, laughing, and Steve didn't miss the way Loki's eyes glanced between him and Bucky, clearly judging which one to go for first.

"No ..." he began, trying for an authoritative tone of voice, but the god just laughed, swimming straight for him. Steve tried to swim for Natasha, but she stayed out of reach, laughing when Loki's arms banded around him, dragging him under the water.

Steve couldn't break the Asgardian's grip as he twisted in his arms, and he twisted so they were face to face, shoving at his chest until Loki let him up.

"You and Bucky have interesting talks," he murmured quietly once they were out of the water, and Steve spun to glare at him. "I'm a god, idiot. I actually _do_ pay attention when someone mentions my name."

"Well, shit," Steve swore. "Don't you dare tell Tony."

"He'd love it if you two joined us, I'm sure. Discuss it with James, and come over to our bus later if you want. You'd both enjoy it," Loki shrugged, swimming back towards Tony and Pepper, Tony tensing for a minute before he realised the god was just wrapping his arms around their waists. Bucky swam over to Steve, looking curious.

"What did he say to you?" he kept his voice quiet enough not to be overheard.

"He ... knows about what you were _talking_ to me about," Steve had the sudden urge to laugh. "And he basically invited us over."

"Are you serious?" Bucky began to laugh. "I'm up for it if you are, but I should have figured he'd be listening in. The pervert."

"You clearly love it," Loki called, and judging by the looks of confusion, he was the only one who could hear what they were saying.

"Privacy, jackass, it's still a thing," Bucky yelled back, his eyes glinting with humour.

"We'll talk about it later," Steve murmured, shooting Loki a dirty look that the god just found amusing.

"Yeah, sure, talking," Bucky snickered, and his boyfriend rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Steve."

"What the fuck is going on?" Tony finally turned to Loki, and the Asgardian glanced at Steve and Bucky, arching an eyebrow. Steve sighed, shrugging, and the dark-haired god turned to his boyfriend, brushing his fingers over his temple. Stark's eyes widened in evident surprise at whatever memory Loki had shown him.

"I'd definitely love it," Tony grinned, glancing over at them. "Really, Cap?"

"Apparently," Steve was clearly past the point of embarrassment, since his face didn't burn in a humiliating blush. Natasha had apparently given up trying to follow what the fuck was going on, but Clint was glancing between them, suspicious.

"Don't worry your pretty little head, Hawk," the billionaire said easily, and the archer rolled his eyes.

"I can't help but worry when you're involved," he hit back. "Am I allowed to get out the water now?"

"Yeah, I'll come back in a bit," Steve said, still treading water. It seemed to be a unanimous decision, since everyone climbed out, content to sit in the sun for a while. Tony started cooking something else, and Bucky licked his lips when he peered into the pan.

"Chicken!" he cheered. "What are we eating that with?"

"Bacon," Tony said, straight-faced, as he dropped some rashers into the pan. "It's fucking delicious."

"Healthy," Steve laughed.

"Oh, shut it, I've seen you eat enough unhealthy stuff, Rogers," Stark snorted. "Like that time you got back from a mission and I walked in on you eating an entire box of Pop-Tarts."

"I'm just glad Thor didn't 'bring down the wrath of Odinson' on me," Steve snorted. "Like he did when Loki stole his last Pop-Tart."

"I was hungry," the god fluttered his lashes, but the smug tone in his voice ruined the innocent image completely. Tony quickly interrupted with offering out the food, which kept everyone silent for a while.

"We're going to go for a swim. I want to explore the cliffs," Natasha announced, tugging Clint up with her. "Do whatever the fuck you were talking about in the water while we're gone."

"So?" Tony leaned back, looking at Bucky and Steve while Clint and Nat made their escape. Bucky was openly grinning while they watched Steve.

"Fine," the blond surrendered, and Pepper smiled at him.

"You should have expected them to be like this," she told him, and he accepted that yes, he probably should have. Tony and Loki led the way up the stairs, and Steve was sure the extra sway to the god's hips was entirely for show, not that it mattered.

"Out of curiosity, what did Barnes say to you?" Tony stopped once they were all standing in the room, and fuck, Steve had never been more grateful that Tony had decided to install a truly impressive-sized bed in their room.

Bucky leaned over to him, breathing the words in his ear with a slight smirk on his lips, and Tony's breathing hitched.

"Yeah, that _could_ be arranged, but I get the feeling we all wanna touch you," his eyes were dark when he looked at Steve. "But your choice."

"I don't want to just watch. Maybe next time," Steve licked his lips, and Loki glanced at him, amused.

"There's going to be a next time?" he didn't sound opposed to the idea, and Steve took it as a plus.

"So, we actually gonna do anything?" Pepper asked, and fuck, Steve hadn't expected her to be the more impatient of them. He moved closer to her, leaning down to kiss her, his hands cupping her face. It was the slow, gentle kiss of someone who isn't sure of boundaries yet, but she wrapped her arms round his shoulders, pressing closer, and he pulled back, smiling down at her.

"Barnes, strip him," Tony ordered, and Steve had never thought he'd be into the dominating thing but the way Tony just settled back on the bed was incredibly hot, him watching with dark eyes as Bucky moved towards him, a clear question in his eyes. His boyfriend nodded. "Steve, you strip him too."

"That's unfair, we want to see you too," Bucky complained, but didn't stop Steve from pulling his shirt over his head.

"You will," Pepper assured them, wrapping her arms around Loki's waist since they were still standing but Tony seemed perfectly at ease to sprawl out and watch while he gave orders. The two soldiers turned to face them, and Steve had to fight the urge to cover up the fact that he was already hard, just from what they'd done so far.

"Now your turn," Steve met Tony's dark gaze with a steely glare of his own, folding his arms, and Tony barked a laugh.

"Alright, _Captain_ ," and then he's stripping, completely at ease with the situation. Loki's pulled Pepper in for a kiss, his hands working on her clothes whilst she fought to push his away.

"C'mere," Tony pulled Steve in for a kiss, dragging him down so the super-soldier was kneeling between his legs. The billionaire kissed like it was his last, all passion with a little bite. When Steve glanced behind them, he saw Bucky had been pulled in between Loki and Pepper, with the god behind him and running hands across his torso while Pepper kissed him. The Asgardian dipped his head, marking up his neck and jaw, and Steve whimpered.

"Like what you see, Steve?" Bucky's grin was fucking wicked, even when he was flushed and breathing heavily.

"Get over here," Tony rolled his eyes. Pepper laughed, tugging Loki with her, keeping Bucky trapped between them. "What do you want from this, Cap?"

Steve didn't find words, so he pulled Pepper closer to him until she got the idea, her legs either side of his chest as he pulled her closer.

"You letting us choose for you?" Loki's voice was amused.

"Definitely. You obviously know what you're doing better than me," Steve rolled his eyes, and Pepper chuckled. Then he was pulling her closer by her hips, his tongue tasting her, and she drew in a sharp breath.

"Come on, Barnes, show us what he likes," Tony's voice was full of a familiar snark, and Bucky laughed but the bed dipped as he moved. Steve moved a hand, his fingers joining his tongue as he drove Pepper closer to the edge.

"Yes, _yes_ ," her fingers twisted into his hair, tugging slightly on the strands, and he groaned quietly. "Steve, come on ..."

He pressed his thumb against her clit, and she cried out, grip tightening in his hair until it was nearly painful, before she slumped against him. Then slick fingers were pressing into the super-soldier, and he recognised Bucky's careful touches.

Pepper leaned down to kiss him lazily, smiling against his lips. He gasped against her mouth when Bucky continued to stretch him.Then those fingers were gone, and Steve let out an embarrassing whine. Pepper moved out of the way so he got to watch Loki slick himself up then sink into him with a quiet curse. Steve's head fell back as he shifted, feeling the god's hips digging into his ass when he wrapped his legs around his waist.

"Eager," Loki chided, but his eyes were glinting. His thrusts were a slow glide of skin on skin and a teasing pace.

"You're treating me like I'm made of glass," Steve bared his teeth in a dangerous smile. "I'm not going to _break_."

"You think you could take it? I'm a _god_ ," amusement shone in green eyes.

"I _know_ I could," Steve challenged, moving to meet him, and Loki laughed.

"Oh, I like you," he said affectionately, before picking up the pace. If Steve had been anyone other than who he was, it would have _hurt_ , but it just sent sparks shooting up his spine and he gasped out the god's name. Then Pepper was unrolling a condom and sinking down on his cock, and his hips jerked. She brushed her hair out the way so it fell down her back as she began to move, her skin glistening with sweat.

Steve let out a frustrated growl, hating that he couldn't move to meet both of them at the same time. He heard a low groan from beside him, and turned his head. Bucky was braced on his forearms beside him, his head falling down, and he was rocking into Tony's movements behind him.

"Shit," Steve swore, and Pepper leant down to kiss him, messy and desperate, like she was as close as he was.

"Not gonna last, Tony, please," Bucky's whimper made Steve buck up again, and Pepper gasped.

"Touch yourself with that metal hand, Barnes," Tony commanded, flipping them round before he sank back into him, making the soldier cry out. He began to stroke himself, the metal gleaming against his skin, and Tony choked before he managed to speak. "That's it."

"Come for us," Pepper murmured into Steve's ear, still rolling her hips. The sound and sight of Bucky coming completely undone beside him, his back arching off the bed, drove Steve over the edge as he came with a groan, muffled into the kiss that Pepper gave him.

"Fuck," Loki rasped, his rhythm faltering as he came, his head falling forwards to rest on Pepper's shoulder. Steve lifted a hand, pressing against her clit again, and she was gone, crying out his name. Then her and Loki collapsed against him, none of them able to care.

Tony came with a moan to the sensation of Bucky clenching round him, and he collapsed on the other side of the soldier.

"That was interesting," he commented, and Steve laughed.

"Always knew it'd be the metal hand that did it for you," Bucky pointed at Tony. "Freak."

"Look who you're in bed with," Tony reminded him, and the soldier laughed.

"Good point. What's a metal hand when you're in bed with a god and a super-soldier?" he winked, and Pepper snorted.

"You're the ones that got off to thinking of this," she reminded them, and that made Steve go quiet. "Out of curiosity, how did that go?"

"I sucked Steve off while we watched you three," Bucky said casually, and apparently it's possible to be embarrassed right after sex because Steve's face burns. "Really, Steve?"

"Shut up, jerk," he shoved him, and Bucky laughed.

"Make me, punk," he challenged, and Steve's eyes sparkled.

"There's always one way I could shut you up," he said conversationally, and Tony began to laugh.

"I believe that's for another time. Maybe later tonight, when we've had a little recovery time. Not all of us are gods and super-soldiers," the scientist chuckled.

"Definitely. I think we all need a shower," Steve chuckled.

"I don't know, I kinda like the smell of sex," Loki grinned, and Pepper elbowed him.

"I kinda like the thought of shared showers," her eyes sparkled, and that suggestion led to five people trying to fit into one shower (they made it work).

Clint and Natasha didn't even try to guess what they'd been up to, and when they got back to Avengers Tower, Bruce didn't want to know either.


	9. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve both have nightmares. They find a way to help each other.

Since everybody already lived there, no one really blinked an eye when Bucky moved into Avengers Tower, the soldier finding his own room, and well, if it was close to Steve's, no one commented. They didn't know what exactly had happened between those two, and no one wanted to pick at old wounds.

No one had mentioned it when Steve would wake up screaming in the middle of the night, and no one mentioned it when it happened to Bucky, knowing the two soldiers came for an era where they were expected to get over shit like this and carry on going, and they might resent it being mentioned.

Bucky was sometimes woken up by Steve's cries, often recognising his own name, twisted by pain and loss. He'd close his eyes, praying that Steve would get better now he was _back_. Hell, he hoped the same would be true for him, but it never was.

He'd wake up, a scream peeling raw from his throat or sobs choking him. He'd remember, too. It wasn't just some vague terror that would haunt him. He'd be back at Hydra, the cold metal pressing against his back, the bit between his teeth as they operated on him. But Steve would be opposite, someone examining his shield while someone fixed Bucky's arm. _Wipe him_. The same bit that Bucky often bit down on would go between the super-soldier's teeth, and then the screaming would start as they tore out every memory that made Steve who he was.

But this last one ... this last one had shaken him. _Kill him. He has no use to us any more._ And familiar blue eyes, devoid of any emotion but determination, had locked on Bucky. Steve had moved with the same silent, savage grace that Bucky recognised from the way he'd once moved - no concern for his own life, only intent on eliminating his target. The mission mattered, nothing else. Then the dream shattered as hands closed on his throat.

Bucky woke up in a tangle of sheets, and sprang out of bed. He winced when he saw the dents on the metal bed-frame (Stark had installed it when Bucky had shattered the wooden one when he was thrashing in his sleep). His metal hand had obviously closed on it, leaving a clear handprint wrapped around the frame.

He left the room, only dressed in his tracksuit bottoms as he paced the corridor. Finally, he lifted a hand to knock on Steve's door, trying not to wake anyone else. The door swung open, and Steve stood there, looking like he'd never slept.

"You alright?" concern creased his eyebrow, and Bucky nearly collapsed against him with relief when the image helped dispel the illusion of Hydra-Steve that had tried to kill him.

"Nightmares," he managed, and he saw understanding on the other's face. Without another word, Steve let him walk into his room, and Bucky sat on the edge of his bed. He noticed the cool touch of metal against his legs, like he did in his own room when he sat down.

"You destroy the bed-frame too?" he asked, and Steve winced, sitting beside him.

"Yeah. You got one too, I guess?" he arched an eyebrow, and his old friend nodded. "What was it this time?"

"Hydra had you, and they were wiping your mind like they did to me, and ... you tried to kill me. Would have killed me," Bucky still felt raw, and that was fucking _stupid_ considering how many variations he'd had of the same dream. Once, it had been Natasha, although that hadn't disturbed him the way this one had, since Natalia had been there with him. She'd been a pupil of his, the best he'd ever trained, and he was still proud of her.

"Shh," Steve's arms wrapped around him, comforting, and Bucky curled closer, the contact resonating through him. He'd had one-night stands since he'd been back, but he'd always snuck out afterwards. He'd never paid attention to how easy everything had been before, how he'd thrown his arms around Steve and it had meant nothing then. Now, it was like a fucking gift.

"Can I ... stay here?" Bucky asked hesitantly, and his old friend nodded, settling under the covers and holding them open for him. The soldier lay beside him, an arm settling round his waist and pulling his back against a broad, warm chest.

"Always knew you were the little spoon," Steve muttered, and Bucky snorted.

"Not like I have much choice any more," he hit back, and the super-soldier chuckled but didn't say anything. Bucky fell asleep to the warm reassurance of knowing Steve was alive and _with him_ , and it wouldn't change any time soon. It was like they were kids back in Brooklyn, Bucky defending a scrawny little kid from the bullies before helping him up. _I'm Bucky_. _Steve._ Those young boys growing into teenagers, Bucky sharing a flat with Steve even when the smaller boy felt guilty for the way his lungs couldn't take the cold and Bucky had to work long hours to afford the heating they needed. They'd often woken up wrapped together then, too - Bucky's body large enough to cover Steve's entirely, even then. The teenagers becoming men, eager to fight for their country, before the war tore everything apart. _I'm with you till the end of the line_.

For the rest of the night, the nightmares didn't come, and Bucky woke up feeling better than he had in weeks. Steve never looked _tired_ , but he'd lost the slight redness to his eyes that was the only outward sign he'd shown of being utterly exhausted.

No one mentioned it when Bucky started following Steve into his room, neither of them bothering to talk about it because it was as simple as it had always been. Bucky slept the entire night, not waking up until Clint was slamming a fist on their door and telling them Tony was actually _cooking_ , and holy shit that was a fucking miracle they had to get up for.

And life went on, Bucky curling up in Steve's bed and both not remembering dreaming about anything other than distant memories - a cold night in Brooklyn, Steve running his own mission to save Bucky and his unit, the Peggy Carter they both remember, Howard Stark and his hover-cars, Bucky trying to teach Steve to dance ... the list went on.

It had occurred to both of them that they were actually  _living_ now, not simply existing as ghosts of a past long gone or a reminder of a world at war. And it was that, more than anything, that made them smile. The way they could expect Tony to steal pieces of food from people's plate because he's too lazy to go make his own (occasionally, as an apology, he'd cook them all something), or the way they could expect Clint to vanish for days and reappear as a figure sat somewhere unlikely that would give Tony a fucking heart-attack when he was walking around at 3am in the morning. They were learning to know this strange dysfunctional family they had, and become a part of it.

"You know, sleep does wonders for your moods," Tony commented one day, and Pepper shoved him off the couch.

"Yeah, the nightmares are gone," Steve's smile was genuine, and Bucky hid his sappy grin behind his toast.

"True love prevails, huh?" Clint's snark earned him an elbow from Natasha, but she was laughing.

"Subtlety is lost on you," Bucky snickered.

"Look who's talking. Not like you're subtle, sneaking into Cap's bedroom like you're stealing his virtue in the dead of night," Tony pointed at him, and Bucky choked on his food.

"It's not ... like that," he finally wheezed, and Steve started laughing.

"We're not all sex fiends, _Stark_ ," the super-soldier reminded him.

"Whatever," Tony clearly didn't believe them, and even Hawkeye looked disbelieving. Steve sighed, and Bucky laughed.

"Well, if they don't believe us, they can't call you the 'All-American Virgin' any more," the soldier said helpfully.

Tony's frustrated curse actually echoed through the Tower.


	10. The Metal Arm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky hates his metal arm, and Steve offers a solution.

"I can't _feel_ anything," he growled, frustrated. He could feel the strength behind the hand resting on the metal, even feel his pulse, but he couldn't feel the _warmth_ that made it so important. He broke away with a scowl.

"Look, do you want to talk to Stark?" Steve's voice was gentle, and Bucky looked at him, eyes narrowed. "Not like _that_. I meant about a new arm. You know he loves working on a challenging project, and he's been a perfectionist ever since the incident with the Mark 42."

"Fine," Bucky conceded, and let Steve lead him through the chaos of the labs until they found Tony hunched over something on his desk.

"Oh, you," he sounded bored. "What do you want?"

"We're offering you a project," Steve nodded to the metal arm. "Think you can make something closer to a real arm?"

"Do I get to keep the old one?" Tony asked, looking marginally more interested.

"If you make a decent one to replace it with, go ahead," Bucky shrugged, because he hated the fuckin' thing. It was Hydra tech, made for fighting and _winning_. He despised it, right down to the red star painted on it.

"I'll get started right away," Stark seemed pleased when he moved away from his current work-bench, swiping one clean. "JARVIS, bring up all the files I have on artificial limbs."

"Sir, we don't have ..." the computer was interrupted by the impatient scientist.

"I know, I know, bring up all the plans we have for arms for suits. We'll go from there," Tony waved a hand. "Come back here tomorrow, and we'll build on whatever progress I've made."

"Here, keep the arm to use as some kind of a reference," Bucky tugged off his shirt. "Take it off."

"Alright, if you want," the billionaire shrugged. "JARVIS, how's it connected?"

"Metal wires, sir," the computer answered. "Not grafted. They want it to be easily removed if they needed to operate on it without it being connected."

"Got it," Tony bent over it, a small tool that neither of the other two recognised in one hand while his fingers brushed over where it was connected. Bucky flinched before holding himself still, but it didn't take long, the metal wires almost _easy_ to remove.

"Didn't even hurt," he grinned at Steve, who still looked worried but tried for a smile anyway.

"You sure you're gonna be alright without it for a while?" Tony asked, laying it out on his workbench.

"I'll be fine," Bucky shrugged, even if it did feel weird to have nothing there at all. Tony didn't say anything, and the two of them got the hint and left him to his work as he examined the arm.

"You hate it that much, huh?" Steve asked quietly.

"I can't ... I look at it and I see _Hydra_. I can see the metal wrapped around people's throats, holding a gun ... I don't want to remember what I did, and that goddamn arm is tying me to it," Bucky knows he's not eloquent, knows that he could never find the words to sum up just what the arm means, what it represents, but the look Steve gives him says he understands anyway, and it makes the soldier feel a little better about the entire thing. "Sorry I've been weird about it lately."

"Hey, I'd rather you get rid of it if that's what you want," and that's just _Steve_ , always compassionate even when people didn't deserve it. "Do you want to go grab some food? I'm starving."

"Sure thing," Bucky grinned, tugging his shirt back on as they walked. "You pick the place - my suggestion didn't end so well last time."

"No shit," Steve snorted.

"Did someone say food?" Clint peered over the back of the sofa, and Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Can we tag along?" she asked.

"Yeah, you and your puppy can come," Bucky grinned, and Clint flipped him off as they got up, stretching.

"Stark making you a new arm?" Nat asked, nodding towards the now-empty sleeve of his shirt.

"Yep. Thought it was about time I replaced it," he knew she understood it went deeper than that. She'd been with him for years, witnessing the confusion and frustration he'd managed to hide from their superiors, and she knew him better than most.

"And you trust _Tony_ to replace it?" Clint snorted. "Quite the leap of faith."

"We're giving him the old one as payment," Steve explained.

"Yeah, that'd probably ensure he gives you something good," Natasha laughed. "He looks like he's seen God when he looks at that arm."

"So where we going?" Clint asked.

"Hmm. That pizza place on the corner?" Steve chuckled when all three of them nodded eagerly. "Let's go, then."

-

Bucky woke up early the next morning, like he always did (but then, he'd wanted a room that opened out on to a balcony - he liked being able to see the sun rise, and he'd always woken up with the sun, even as a child).

He grabbed a pack of Pop-Tarts, sticking them in the toaster before Steve walked in, his hair still damp from his shower.

"Looking forward to seeing what Tony's done so far?" he asked, leaning against the counter.

"Yep. And I _know_ you're not gonna steal one of my Pop-Tarts," Bucky narrowed his eyes, and Steve laughed, opening a packet and snapping off a piece to eat.

"Not any more," he grinned.

"Good boy," Bucky said as his Pop-Tarts popped up. He stuck them on a plate so he could take them with him down to the lab, and Steve followed him.

"You don't mind me coming, do you?" he asked hesitantly.

"Course I don't, idiot," Bucky snorted.

"Pepper?" Tony asked distractedly when the pair walked in, then slumped. "Oh, I thought you were Pepper. She promised to bring me coffee."

"Didn't you _sleep_ , Stark?" the soldier lifted an eyebrow.

"No," Tony said. "But I think I'm finished, save for a few minor tweaks if necessary."

"Oh, okay. Want to test it?" Bucky asked, stripping out of his shirt to expose his scarred shoulder. He knew Steve's gaze was taking in the other scars that decorated his skin, knew that he hoped for an explanation soon. He'd give him one eventually, but for now, he just didn't want to go there.

"Alright. It can look human if you want it to," Tony lifted a metal arm that was somehow completely different from the old one. It was smoother, more stream-lined; less of a weapon, Bucky realised. Tony leant over, a needle in his hand.

"Pain-killer, just in case," he said briefly, and Bucky nodded, tilting his head. He felt the pinch of the needle, then Tony was bringing the arm to his shoulder. Whatever the fuck he was doing, Bucky couldn't feel any of it, which was probably better.

"Now try moving it," Tony encouraged, and both hands formed fists. Bucky watched in awe as he regained control. Automatically, he touched his thumb to each of his fingers - a calibration test he'd been taught. The feeling of connecting to a new limb was always a little disorientating, but he always adjusted quickly.

Steve rested his hand on his arm, and Bucky gasped as he felt the warmth of his grip.

"I can feel it, Steve," he was ashamed to feel tears in his eyes, but he was laughing when he spun round, cupping the other's face in his hands, relishing in how he could feel the warm brush of skin. "I can feel _everything_."

He was still beaming when something in Steve's face changed slightly, something monumental shifting. And it felt like the most natural thing in the world for Bucky to lean closer and press their lips together, both hands still cupping the other's face.

He broke away, embarrassed and blushing when he heard Tony's wolf-whistles.

"Sorry, I ..." he murmured to Steve, and the blond rested a hand on his arm.

"Don't. Don't do that," and he kissed him again, smiling against his lips.


	11. Christmas in Avengers Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers, including Bucky and Loki, share their first Christmas in Avengers Tower.

"It's snowing!" Steve sounded enchanted as he pressed up against the window.

"Are you kidding?!" Tony sounded as excited as the super-soldier did. "We are going outside. Right now."

"Are you serious?" Natasha asked, eyebrows lifting.

"Yes, don't be _boring_ ," Tony glared at her. "Come on, it hasn't snowed since Christmas last year."

"It's Christmas _Eve_ ," Steve looked at Bucky, pleading, and fuck, his boyfriend hated it when he pulled out those goddamn puppy eye. He sighed, and Steve grinned. "Let's go get coats!"

"Snow?" Bruce stuck his head round the door.

"Oh my god, we are like children," Clint snorted, but he was grabbing a coat anyway. Natasha sighed, but slid off the couch to grab a coat and scarf. When everyone came back, they were bundled up in warm clothing, trying not to laugh.

"I haven't seen good snow in _years_ ," Steve breathed when they got outside.

"I bet the lake's frozen over!" Tony whooped, and took off running. Pepper and Loki were following at a slower pace, Loki looking fucking _delighted_. Then it hit the others why.

"This is unfair, you're a _Frost Giant_ ," Clint complained, and Loki grinned, already down to a shirt and jeans.

"Not my fault," the god reminded him. "It means it's easier to do _this_."

And he promptly launched a snowball at the back of Tony's head. The billionaire spluttered and tripped into the snow. He sprang to his feet, and managed to nail Clint in the chest. And then it was _on_.

Bucky whooped as he managed to get snow down Steve's neck, causing his boyfriend to shiver and glare at him.

"Dammit, Bucky," he lunged for him, knocking him down into the snow. He shoved some down under his collar, and the soldier yelped, twisting underneath him.

"You _bastard_ ," he gasped, laughing as he tried to wiggle free.

"Nope, you don't get away that easy," gloved hands pressed snow against his back, under his clothes, and Bucky couldn't help yelping. He couldn't let Steve win, so he pushed some between his waistband of his jeans, some going down his trousers, some going up his shirt, and Steve gasped.

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that," he growled playfully, and slapped a hand-full of snow on to his boyfriend's face.

"Eugh, alright, truce, _truce_ ," Bucky laughed, spitting out snow. Then he grinned. "Go for Nat."

Both of them sat up, both aiming snowballs at the red-head, and she yelped in shock, swinging round from where she was aiming at Bruce.

"You ..." she lapsed into Russian when she saw Bucky howling with laughter in the snow, and it just made him laugh harder. Steve had collapsed against him, his whole body shaking. That opened them up to several shots, mainly from Natasha, Clint and Tony.

Bucky managed to hit Loki and Pepper while Steve hit Bruce, and then everyone collapsed into the snow, giggling.

"We really are children," Clint snorted, and then huffed like Natasha had elbowed him from where she was sprawled out on his chest.

"You know you love it," Tony grinned. He and Loki had sank into the snow near Steve and Bucky, and were grinning like absolute idiots. Pepper was sat with Bruce, both of them laughing.

"I'm almost grateful Thor's visiting Jane for Christmas - he'd bring down a personal storm on us right about now," Loki chuckled.

"Oooh, can you make the ice thick enough to skate on?" Tony peered at his boyfriend, and Pepper perked up.

"Yes," Loki chuckled. "You really want to go ice-skating?"

"Oh, come on, ice-skating on _Christmas Eve_ \- it's a great cliché," Tony frowned, and Loki laughed.

"Sometimes, I think you're actually a little romantic, deep down," he poked his chest. "Let's go."

Everyone got up, watching when Loki knelt at the edge of the lake, pressing his hands against the ice. They watched it thicken until the god sat back on his heels, satisfied.

"Done," he slid out on to the ice, looking annoyingly-graceful. He held out his hand to Pepper and Tony, and tugged them out with him. Neither of them fell (much to everyone else's disappointment), and they began to slide around the ice.

"Come on, Clint," Natasha dragged the reluctant assassin on to the ice, and he stumbled, landing on his ass before he managed to find his feet (he flipped Bucky off when he started laughing).

"Bruce," Pepper held out her hand to the scientist. He hesitantly took her hand, and started grinning when he didn't fall over.

"Come on, Steve," Bucky pleaded.

"I'm gonna fall," the blond muttered.

"Who cares? It'll be _fun_ ," Bucky began to drag him, even though Steve was digging his heels in. "Please, for me?"

"You suck, Bucky," he groaned, but let himself get dragged out on to the ice. Bucky kept a hold of his hand, and Steve began to slide, hesitantly then a little faster when he realised he wasn't going to fall.

"That's it," Bucky encouraged, and Steve laughed, skating alongside him even if he didn't let go of his hands.

Then a snowball hit the back of his head and he went skidding over, hearing Natasha's delighted laughter ringing in his ears.

"Revenge is beautiful," she called, grinning.

"That was evil, even for you," Clint muttered, and she rolled her eyes.

"It was two against one," she pointed out, and he shrugged, admitting that she had a good point. Bucky grinned, kneeling down beside him.

"You okay there, Steve?" he quirked an eyebrow.

"You _jerk_ ," Steve grabbed the front of his coat and pulled him down with him.

"How the hell was this my fault?" Bucky began to laugh.

"Because you're the one who said to go after Natasha," Steve muttered.

"Okay, maybe this was my fault," his boyfriend conceded, eyes still sparkling. He shifted slightly, pulling him closer so he was lying on Steve's chest. He pressed their lips together, still smiling, and Steve's arms wrapped around him.

"I think this is gonna be a good Christmas," Bucky murmured, barely any space separating them.

"Well, we haven't really got much to compare it against, but I think so too," Steve chuckled. "Are we gonna get up and skate or are we going to freeze ... again?"

"That was a bad joke, Rogers," the soldier was smiling anyway when they got up, trying not to slide too much on the ice.

"Whatever, Barnes," the blond grinned, and grabbed his hand again.

-

"We have a _white Christmas_ ," an excited yell from Tony woke everyone up on Christmas morning, and Bucky and Steve groaned as they pulled on the 'Christmas pyjamas' everyone had been forced into wearing by Tony. They were all _superhero_ pyjamas. Steve was wearing Black Widow, while Bucky was wearing Captain America.

"You've got to be kidding me," Clint's voice was audible through the walls.

"You're _wearing them_ ," Natasha's followed shortly after, and Steve and Bucky tried not to laugh as they left the room. Both had given up on shame and walked into the living room proudly, where Tony was very satisfied with his mechanical Christmas tree (Pepper had insisted on having at least one real one, so they had one real and one mechanical).

They took one look around the room, and immediately started laughing. Clint was sulking in his Thor pyjamas, while Natasha was sat with Pepper, the red-head wearing the Hulk and the CEO of Stark Industries wearing Iron Patriot. Bruce was wearing Spiderman, and Loki was wearing Ironman. Tony had somehow managed to find some pyjamas with _Loki_ on.

"Iron Patriot, really?" Bucky asked Pepper, who shrugged.

"He was running short of ideas," she answered, and that seemed to cover it.

"Presents!" Tony really was like an overgrown five year old.

"I hope you sent something nice to Harvey," Pepper told him.

"Of course I did," Tony looked offended. Steve idly wondered if anyone else knew just how much Tony did for the kid - he'd been keeping an eye on him ever since the incident with the Mandarin and Extremis, but Steve had been sworn to secrecy under threat of death when he'd walked in on Tony transferring money to an account for the kid's _college fund_.

"I believe someone mentioned presents," Bucky stepped in, and Tony grinned. "I wanna see how this kind-of Secret Santa worked out."

"That's the spirit," he said approvingly, and Bucky wondered how anyone _couldn't_ be in the spirit, with all the snow outside.

"Clint," Natasha was curled up near the fire that Tony had lit (that dude really was obsessed with Christmas - he was determined for their first Christmas to be _perfect_ ), so she passed up things from the massive stack underneath the two trees.

"Yes!" the assassin cheered when he unwrapped a new bow after checking the label. "Thanks, Nat."

"And the companion present," Tony was practically buzzing when he handed it over.

"Will it explode if I open it?" Clint asked suspiciously, and the billionaire shook his head. So the archer unwrapped it, smiling when he found arrows inside.

"Check the labels wrapped around them," Stark demanded.

"Are you kidding me? You made custom arrows?!" Steve had never seen Clint look so excited.

"Fire, explosives, trackers ... Fuck's sake, Stark," Bucky groaned, peering at them. "If he hears me singing High School Musical again, he's gonna have decent weapons to use against me."

"Good," Clint smiled happily, and the soldier rolled his eyes.

"Steve," Natasha handed something that looked like a card to the super-soldier, and Bucky nearly fell off the couch laughing when he saw what it was.

"Flying lessons," Steve couldn't help laughing. "Thanks, Tony."

"You're an idiot," Pepper rolled her eyes, but she looked dangerously close to a smile.

"Bucky," Natasha looked faintly alarmed, but the soldier tore into it.

"An arm cover!" he cheered, and caught Steve's quizzical look. "I can go out in public now and not have to _worry_ about it being recognised. It _is_  a kinda rare prosthetic."

"Pepper," Natasha called, and she took the pretty jewellery box. It was a gorgeous emerald, wrapped in a delicate web of silver (hell, it could have been white-gold, who knew with Tony).

"It may not seem like much, but I have another one for you," Tony explained. "I've been working on a cure for the Extremis, if you want it."

"Really?" she looked stunned. "You could actually get every single trace out?"

The doctors had done what they could, but there'd still been bits left over, and Tony clearly knew that she'd hated it.

"Thank you," she looked close to tears, and Loki handed something over in a box.

"I got you something, too," he seemed almost ... hesitant, and she gasped when she opened it. It was a bracelet, with what looked like sapphires set in it, but they were almost _glowing_ with energy.

"You'll always be able to contact me with it," the god explained, slight colour in his cheeks. "I hope it's alright."

"Loki, it's great," she threw her arms around the pair of them. "Thank you so much."

"Oh, this one's for me," Natasha looked down, surprised. "From Bucky."

She opened it, and blinked, stunned. Then tears filled her eyes, and she looked up at him, amazed.

"It's ... how did you find these?" she was actually _shaking_ , and none of them had ever seen her so ... raw.

"I once let a little red-headed girl live, and I kept them as a reminder that I wasn't always a killer," Bucky smiled slightly. "But they're yours."

She lifted out two things - one was a small teddy bear, clearly quite old, and the other was what looked like a small, wooden charm bracelet.

"They were from your parents, weren't they?" Clint murmured.

"Yes. This was for my birthday, and I'd had this teddy since I was a baby," Natasha composed herself, but she couldn't quite stop the quaver in her voice. "Thank you, Bucky."

"You're welcome," his smile lacked its sarcastic edge for a change, and Steve squeezed his hand, smiling when the other kept their fingers laced together.

"Tony," Pepper handed the next present to the billionaire.

"From me," Loki was still looking slightly embarrassed at the entire sentimental display, and everyone hid smiles (well, most did - Clint and Bucky were grinning like idiots). Tony opened it, and looked up in shock. There was a silver ring inside, resembling a wedding ring, with a small glowing sapphire set into the band. "It's not ... like that. It's the same kind of present as I gave Pepper."

"Thank you," Tony brushed his fingers over the metal band.

"By wearing them, it's also showing everyone from the other realms that you're mine, and under my protection," the god was _blushing_ now, and Tony and Pepper looked torn between amusement and delight at the fact Loki had done something so ... sweet.

"Thank you," Tony dropped a kiss on his cheek, and Loki smiled, embarrassed but happy.

"You're doing good for your first Christmas," Pepper nudged him, and he laughed.

"Bruce," Tony called. "I'll show you yours later - I've made a floor of labs of your own. That okay?"

"Really?" the scientist looked stunned.

"Means you don't have to deal with me passed out on the floor at 3am, and it means you can order whatever stuff you want," the billionaire shrugged like it was nothing. "You can order your equipment whenever."

" _Thank you_ ," Bruce looked awestruck, and Steve was willing to bet he hadn't had a lab that was officially his own since the other guy had first shown up.

"We'll give you our present later," Tony murmured to the god at his side, and Bucky groaned, burying his head in his hands. He had a bad feeling that their 'present' would be introducing Loki to the marvellous inventions of Earth, and knowing Tony, it would be a very specific introduction.

"Your fault for listening in, Barnes," Tony's grin was wicked, and Pepper elbowed him. "Fine, I'm almost sorry. Now, who wants pancakes and coffee?"

"We've even got a Christmas dinner," Pepper chipped in, and the cheer that went round the room was nearly deafening.

"Oh, I've got you a present I didn't want the others to see," Bucky murmured to Steve, and he slipped cool into his hands. Steve looked down, and he ran his fingers over the dog-tags in his hands. "Yours, and mine."

"The original ones?" Steve asked, stunned.

"Yeah. Took a while to track them down, but Stark's money'll do a lot. They belonged to a fan of yours, someone you saved in New York. She was all too willing to return them when she realised I was giving them back to you," Bucky smiled, looking down at the familiar tags. "I still can't believe mine survived a stint in that camp, but apparently they did."

"Thanks, Buck," Steve slid them over his head, settling against his chest with a soft 'clink'. "I've missed them."

"I know," the soldier wrapped his arms around his waist. "Let's go get pancakes."

"Wait, I got you something first. I understand if you don't want it," Steve interrupted, and reached into his pocket. He dropped something into his hand, and Bucky glanced down.

"Is that what I think it is?" he looked up at the blond, running his fingers over the plain golden ring in his hands.

"My mother's wedding ring. She left it to me, when she died. I had something inscribed on the inside," Steve was blushing, and Bucky held it up. _Till the end of the line_ was set on the inside band, and he smiled. It was on a chain, since it was unlikely to be his size, so he let it settle against his chest.

"It's perfect," Bucky kissed him gently. "Now, about those pancakes ..."

"Let's go," Steve laughed, and they followed everyone else into the kitchen. He didn't doubt they'd been the only ones to exchange things privately, especially when he noticed a new necklace around Natasha's neck with a diamond-studded arrow pendant.

"Merry Christmas!" Tony yelled when everyone had their coffee, and he raised his mug. "To the first brilliant Christmas of many!"

"Merry Christmas!" everyone lifted their mug, laughing, as Tony turned to begin plating up the pancakes.

And since it was Pepper monitoring the dinner, it didn't even end up burnt.


	12. Hades-Persephone AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky wonders when mortals twisted the Hades-Persephone story into something so different, but somehow not that different at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for reference:
> 
> Bucky - Hades  
> Steve - Persephone  
> Clint - Apollo  
> Natasha - Ares
> 
> (and Fury as Zeus, I think)

Bucky wonders when the truth got so distorted, when the seeds of truth that started a legend twisted into something so different. Even some of the origins of their story are wrong - the story of three brothers, dividing the world into three and forcing one into the world of the dead, unwilling and ungrateful.

He wonders why people think he would hate his kingdom, why he would hate to see the eternities that mortals make for themselves without interference of the gods, crafting their own paradise.

He is a king, a king with darkness twining around his wrists and the dead in his shadow. He sits on a throne made of shadows and hears the pleas of the dead who enter his kingdom every minute of every day.

He watches the other gods, with their frivolous natures and flippant attitudes, and never envies them because what he does, it gives his eternity a purpose. He watches as they hold balls and feasts and not once do they ever stop laughing.

He begins to wonder when he stopped laughing, or when people stopped visiting his world.

He starts to walk the mortal world, seeing the sunlight more than he has in decades, more than he has since the Underworld was his to rule. And he feels something change, something crucial, even if he can't name what it is.

He visits Olympus, and he doesn't seek out the presence of the other immortals because he knows they will treat him differently. He remains in the shade of a tree, overlooking this world, and he asks himself when he let the Underworld become so dark.

It's only once he gets up does he see the narcissus flower that's bloomed nearby, obviously not by his hand, but formed by _someone_ , and he looks around, curious. The god or nymph that made it has vanished, and he smiles slightly, pleased by the flower's presence.

When he returns to the Underworld that night, he watches them bloom around his palace as his will summons them. He wishes for light, for colour, and watches as the darkness lifts, the sky illuminated in pastel blues and pinks as the stars of his sky take the place of the Sun. He remakes his world, the shadows there but not all-encompassing as they once had been. He watches colour fill his world again.

-

He visits Olympus more frequently, always sitting in the same place, content to stay and watch.

"I see you liked my gift," a voice comments behind him, and he tips his head back until a figure enters his vision.

"You sent the narcissus?" he asks as the god walks around to sit near him.

"I did," the golden god nods, his blue eyes sparkling and a smile on his lips. Bucky feels the tingle of magic across his skin as another blooms at his feet, and he can't help the way his lips curve up.

"Why do you come here?" the god of the dead asks. He knows why _he_ comes here, but then, he's not one of the golden twelve, like this one clearly is.

"Because I like the quiet sometimes," the answer makes him glance over in surprise, and there's a wry smile on the other's face now. "What? Didn't expect a god to like solitude for a while?"

"I just didn't think a god like you would like to be away from the ... festivities," Bucky answers. He's wrapped in shadows, as he always is, but they layer over a cloak just as dark. He suddenly wishes he wasn't wearing something that marked him out so clearly for what he was.

"And yet I've never seen you _near_ them," the blond lifts an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Because I don't belong here," Bucky responds before he can regret the words.

"Yes, so I've heard," the other god tips his head back. "The reclusive, sombre god of the dead, visiting Olympus. Whatever shall your brothers say?"

"My brothers shall say nothing because they don't know I visit," Bucky's words are sharper than he intends, and he regrets it.

"I see. The question is, _why_ do you visit? You've got a whole kingdom of your own," the question brings him up short, because he doesn't really know the answer. It must show on his face, because the golden immortal continues to speak. "I think you miss the company of your own kind."

"Do you?" Bucky's laugh is slightly bitter. "My _kind_ are selfish and give no consideration for what their actions could unleash. A single affair between immortal and mortal unleashes a war, and they simply walk away unscathed while cities burn."

"Spoken like someone who sees the damage," the words are calm, surprisingly so in the wake of the passionate outburst, and Bucky feels like he's exposed something he shouldn't have.

"You know who I am - you know I see the damage every single day," the dark god answers, glancing at him. "Why did you come here, and reveal yourself this time?"

"Because you interest me," the blond gets to his feet, like he's overstayed his welcome. Maybe he believes he has. "And I want to know you."

"You do?" Bucky's surprised at that. "Why?"

"Because no one knows you, and I think I'd like to," the blond glances at him. "You can call me Steve, by the way. I prefer it to the title mortals give me."

"Persephone," the god of the dead fights a laugh when the man in front of him folds his arms. "I think it suits you."

"Thanks," sarcasm layers the word, and then Steve's gone, like he's never been. The single Narcissus unfurls its petals, and Bucky plucks it before he can persuade himself it's a bad idea.

-

He alternates between spending time in the mortal world and in Olympus when he's away from his kingdom. He never tracks down the god of spring, but the immortal always seems to find him. Sometimes they don't speak, simply enjoy the warmth of sunlight in silence, but today isn't one of those days.

"I think you like me," Steve almost makes it sound accusatory, and Bucky laughs.

"What gave you that idea?" he glances over the top of his sunglasses. They're in the mortal world this time, sitting comfortably on a bench in front of a water fountain. They're not alone, but no one listens to them. Bucky thinks they might be somewhere in Italy; he doesn't really keep track of where they go.

"Because you haven't tried to keep me away," the blond points out, and okay, maybe that's true. Bucky's laughed more than he has in ages, and it's kinda thanks to the man who's sat beside him. "But there's one thing I want to ask."

"Go ahead," Bucky glances across at him, curious. The immortal's never asked permission to voice his questions before.

"I want you to let me see your kingdom," Steve says in a rush, and okay, he wasn't expecting _that_.

"Why?" is the first thing he can think to ask.

"Because I want to see it," the other says, sounding frustrated. "Because I want to see if it's as beautiful as some mortals claim, or as dark as some immortals say."

"It is not dark," Bucky says, insulted. Maybe it was before he started walking the other worlds again, but things change (okay, admittedly he doesn't change _much_ , but it can happen).

"Do you not _want_ me to see it?" Steve asks, and there's something almost _vulnerable_ in his voice. It makes Bucky want to wrap his arms around the other, and he squashes that impulse before it can become a problem.

"I do, it's just ... most gods never want to," he shrugs. "When do you want to go?"

"Now!" Steve smiles widely. He's like an excited puppy when he gets what he wants, and it's not adorable, it's _not_. Bucky laughs, extending a hand. He doesn't _have_ to be touching someone to change worlds, but it makes it easier; at least that's what he tries to tell himself. He's never been a very good liar.

They materialise at the edge of his gardens, and Steve gasps as he takes in the array of colours that streak across the sky. Then his lips lift in a smug smile, and Bucky nearly curses when he forgets that his gardens are filled with narcissus flowers, amongst others. The only similarity they share is they're either white or black, the colours of his world, and Steve runs his fingers over an Asphodel flower, smiling when blossoms under his touch.

"What do you want to see?" Bucky asks, tempted to pretend this doesn't matter. But it _does_ , and for some indescribable reason, he wants Steve to like this world as much as he does.

"Everything!" the blond laughs, reckless and free, like this is everything he's ever wanted. So Bucky shows him everything. He guides him out of the gardens, showing him the dark red flames that flicker on the horizon, a prelude to Tartarus. He warns Steve what exists there, even for a god, and the immortal nods to show he's understood the warning.

He shows him where the spirits enter this world, and the guard who keeps them from leaving. Cerberus is ferocious, but he's like a trained puppy when Steve lifts his hands, scratching two of the massive heads on the jaw while the other whines for attention. The god of spring grins, amused by the 'fierce' guardian of the Underworld.

Bucky shows him where the portal is that leads to the world above for their kind (at least those who don't have free access to his world), but Steve's looking beyond the gateway, to the lake that looks silver now that light has been brought to the world. He watches with something like awe on his face as the boats cross the water, lit by lanterns and carrying the newly-dead.

"Souls, passing between worlds," Bucky tells him, standing beside him to watch. "They all must make the journey to receive their paradise or their punishment."

That takes them to the Elysian fields next, where spirits enjoy the eternity of happiness given to them. Maidens find love with the warriors who died at war before they could think to wed, and couples find each other. The thought gives Bucky an idea of where he wants to take Steve next.

He holds out his hand, not telling Steve where they're going. Soon, he spots the dark waters of Lethe, the river of forgetfulness and one of the five rivers that flow here. He gestures for Steve to sit down with him, hidden by the plants that seem almost eager to hide them. Bucky blames the god at his side for that.

"Shh," he says when Steve starts to speak again, asking what they're doing here. "Watch."

They don't have to wait long, two figures coming into view. They're old, their movements hesitant and slow, but they laugh and kiss like newly-weds.

"Are you sure?" the man asks softly, and the woman presses a kiss to his mouth.

"It's time," she murmurs, and the love that radiates from her is so obvious, it makes Bucky ache. "You know I will find you again."

"Well, you're the one that found me the last time," he laughs, his voice rough and tears in his eyes.

"To another lifetime filled with happiness," she kneels down next to the river. The water looks almost radiant when she cups it in her hands.

"To love reborn," he presses a kiss to her cheek. Then they're drinking, their eyes locked on each other like they're afraid to miss a single second.

Then their arms are wrapping around each other, their souls melting into one orb of nearly-blinding light before it follows the flow of the river. It separates once they get to where it curves out of sight, and the sound of their laughter echoes in the air as they re-enter the world of the living as new spirits.

"This is the River Lethe," Bucky says softly. "The river of forgetfulness, where spirits drink to forget their past lives and be reborn."

"And they were ..." the god of spring looks amazed, his eyes shining.

"Soul-mates, yes," Bucky has seen it hundreds of times before, and it still makes his heartbeat quicken. Mortals can make their own magic, and now Steve knows that too.

"They've forgotten each other ..." he begins, sounding upset.

"No, they haven't. Their memories are gone, but soul-mates are eternal," Bucky tells him. "They will find each other again, because they have a bond not even the gods can touch. It's their own magic, Steve."

"And they'll fall in love all over again," Steve's looking at him like he's something precious, and confusion twists his stomach.

"Yes, they will," Bucky manages past the lump in his throat. Steve moves closer, his eyes still on his face, searching for something.

"Lucky them, to have that guarantee," he says, and then he's kissing him, and Bucky feels his own soul quicken. His hands brush up the other god's sides, feeling muscles clench and relax under his touch. Steve parts his lips with quick, light brushes of his tongue, and Bucky presses forward, needing the contact. But Steve pulls back, his eyes dark.

"There's one thing you haven't shown me yet," he says, and Bucky lifts an eyebrow even as an inferno surges in his blood.

"And what's that?" he can hear how rough his voice is, and he almost flinches.

"Your bedroom," Steve says, his eyes glinting, and holy _shit_ , this god is going to kill him. Bucky stands, holding out a hand to help him up.

"Would you like to see it?" he asks, even as warnings fly through his mind and nervousness sparks under his skin.

"You know I do," Steve wraps his arms around him, nuzzling at his neck, and Bucky moves them, appearing in his room. The god laughs. "I think that's cheating."

"I think that's taking the initiative," Bucky corrects him, grinning, and Steve laughs again, twisting his fingers into his hair until Bucky tilts his head back. The first time, Steve kissed him like it was a question, all light hope and nervousness. Now, he kisses like he's determined for this to go somewhere, his hands working at Bucky's clothes.

"You _do_ have powers, you know," Bucky breathes against his lips, and feels the tingle of magic slide across his skin as his clothes are discarded. "There we go."

He uses his own magic to remove Steve's, since the god of spring didn't take the liberty. Then he's pressing against him, the blond's skin burning hot against his. He runs his hands down his back, feeling muscles shift under smooth skin, and Bucky's pressing him back, and straddling his hips when he lands on the bed.

Steve's grinning when he flips them, so Bucky bites down on his collarbone in retaliation, hearing the low gasp he receives in response. He's satisfied, maybe more than he should be, when he pulls back and there's a bruise already blooming there. Then Steve's teeth are pressing against his neck, breath warm against his skin, and he's giving Bucky a similar bruise.

"Got anything?" Steve's words take a moment to penetrate the fog that's hazing his mind, and the god nods at his night-stand. It may not have been there before, but it's there when Steve grabs for it.

Steve slicks up his fingers, sliding one into him and pausing just to watch the other god's face flush with pleasure. Bucky groans at the feeling, hips jerking, and Steve slides in another finger. The god beneath him arches, his eyes dark.

"I am not going to _break_ ," he grits out.

"I know, but I don't want to hurt you," Steve adds a third finger, stretching him even wider, and Bucky's head falls back, his breath coming in pants.

"Steve ..." the demand is clear in his voice, and the god slicks himself up, flipping Bucky over so he's lying on his front before sinking in. He groans, and Bucky's hands briefly twist themselves into blond hair before Steve's holding them above his head by the wrist, his thrusts long and drawn out and holy _shit_.

Bucky groans, moving restlessly underneath him. His cock is brushing the sheets, but Steve's still holding his hands above his head as he fucks him so he can't bring himself off. He growls out the other's name, twisting underneath him, and Steve seems to get the hint.

He lets go of the other's hands, his grip tightening on his hips and dragging him up on to his knees. One arm bands across his chest, pulling him up so Bucky's back is pressed against Steve's front and the god is thrusting _up_ into him. Bucky's cries, previously muffled into the bed, are loud now, coming in shouts and cries that give away how close he is.

One of Bucky's hands anchors itself in blond hair, not tight enough to be painful but tight enough to add to the sensations that's rushing through the both of them. He strokes himself with his free hand, chasing his own pleasure. Steve brings his other hand to tangle with Bucky's, both gliding over his cock, and that's all it takes.

Bucky's arching against him, the other's name falling from his lips on a whimper. Steve comes to Bucky's body clenching down on him, and he groans his name. He's unable to resist sinking his teeth into the tendon of his neck, leaving another bruise.

"You jerk," Bucky groans when they've both come down from their highs, and his fingers are brushing over the mark on his neck. They've both ended up sprawled out on the bed, with Steve's head resting on Bucky's chest. 

"It'll match the other one," Steve doesn't even try to hide the laugh in his voice when he traces the one on his collarbone. Then he grins. "I _knew_ you liked me."

"You're an idiot," Bucky glances at him, amused and more relaxed and more  _open_ than the god of spring has ever seen him.

"Maybe," the blond concedes. "Does this mean I'm actually allowed to visit you here sometimes?

Bucky shoves him off the bed, laughing.

-

Eventually, Steve's visits draw notice, and when Bucky arrives back at his home, Ares is waiting for him.

"You here to threaten me?" he asks, as casually as he can. She's not fooled, but she doesn't comment on it.

"No. You know that's not my style," he should have expected that, and he nods. "I'm here to give you a warning. I'm not the only one who's noticed exactly who you're stealing."

"I'm not stealing him," Bucky answers, his voice like steel.

"There's other ways to steal him," she moves closer, something like sympathy in her eyes. "You're stealing his heart."

She's gone, and he's left feeling colder than he has for centuries.

-

When Steve falls asleep that night, Bucky murmurs the words he wishes meant something on Olympus.

He doesn't notice the way the blond smiles slightly.

-

The next visitor is Apollo, and he doesn't expect a fight because he knows that Ares wouldn't send her lover if this was going to end violently.

"The mortal world is dying," the words aren't unexpected, but Bucky flinches nonetheless.

"I know," he sees the spirits entering his world, but Steve's become a permanent fixture here, and he can't bring himself to give it up. Not yet.

"And you insist on keeping him here?" Apollo turns to the open doors that lead to the balcony, where the god of spring is visible in the gardens, amongst the flowers. "Life blooms amongst the dead, and mortals suffer."

"I'm not keeping him here. He chooses to stay," Bucky says quietly.

"Yes, but does he know the cost? Is it worth it?" Apollo asks, playing with the golden arrowhead in his hands, his skin glowing slightly with the radiant light of the Sun.

"He is worth it," Bucky's voice is low, and honesty rings there.

"I won't be the last visitor you'll get," Apollo warns. "Don't expect the next to be so understanding."

-

Zeus is the next visitor, unsurprisingly. Steve is visiting the Elysian fields, amongst the souls, the spirits enjoying the new life he brings to their home, and Bucky remained at his home, knowing that it wasn't his place to go with Steve this time.

"He acts like this is his home," the voice is cold, deep, and Bucky turns. Zeus reclines on his throne, and anger causes the stone around him to heat.

"You may be a king, but that is not your place," his voice is like ice, and the king of the gods stands, moving away from the throne.

"He's wrong for this place, you know," he says, almost conversationally. It's betrayed by the hard glint in his eyes. "Spring is meant for the mortals, and some part of you knows that. You won't let them keep dying."

"Why? Because _you_ say so? No. If he goes back, it will be his choice, and not because we care for your orders but because we actually give a shit about human life," Zeus opens his mouth to argue, but Bucky doesn't give him the chance. "Don't act like you actually care. You may watch over them on Earth, while they worship you, but I have their eternities, long after they've stopped being useful for you."

"The world lives by laws, and even a king can't break them. Return him, or I will escort the human souls down here myself," Zeus is gone, leaving the faintest sparks of electricity in his wake. Bucky feels hollow because he knows he's right; not about Steve being wrong for this kingdom, but about laws having to be obeyed. He wants to scream, but instead of tearing from his throat, it spreads through the earth, the very ground shaking with it.

"Are you alright?" Steve's voice is concerned, and he's running towards him. Bucky looks at him, and he isn't sure what the other god sees in his eyes.

"I love you," Bucky chokes out, and the kiss he presses to Steve's lips feels like a desperate goodbye. Steve's fingers grip bruises into his skin.

He savours every single one of them.

-

He's standing at the edge of their world, and Bucky feels tears in his eyes. He looks at Steve, not sharing in the confidence written all over his face but enjoying it nonetheless.

"I'll come back," promise layers every tone of the god of spring's voice, and he takes Bucky's hand, gripping it tightly. With the other, he reaches up, and Bucky's breathing nearly stops when he sees the pomegranate in his hands.

"I'll come back," it's spoken lower now, and the god of the dead does nothing but watch as Steve bites into the fruit, the juice staining his lips. He hears his own voice, warning Steve of the dangers when he was showing him his world; _this food, this water, it's not for us. It would bind you here, to this world, as much a slave to it as they are_. It was spoken as a warning then, but now it seems like a blessing as Steve drops the seeds to the ground, watching them fall like they seal his fate.

"Six months," his voice is soft. "It'll only be six months, and I'll be back. The world lives by laws, and even a king can't break them."

With Zeus's words spoken in a gentle voice, he's gone, leaving a single flower blooming in his wake. Bucky knows what it will be before he even looks down, but the sight of the narcissus makes him smile.

When he laughs, it's reckless and almost delirious, because Steve _has_ to come back.

-

"He's really coming back," Ares says, hands on her hips as she watches the Underworld bloom with new life. It's like Bucky's world is eagerly awaiting the return of its king's beloved.

"We knew that anyway," Apollo laughs from his perch in the tree. "The big man was _furious_."

"It was quite hilarious to watch," the red-head admits, grinning.

"Good," Bucky snickers. "But I've gotta go."

"We know, we know, you've got a _date_ ," Apollo makes a face, but they vanish as Bucky steps through the portal.

He's back in what he thought was Italy, on the bench in front of the water-fountain. It's warm without being unbearable, and he tilts his head back, his eyes closed.

He feels Steve before he sees him, feels a tingle of warmth across his skin, and he glances at the man beside him.

"Autumn's my favourite day of the year," he comments.

"Me too. Can't remember why though," Bucky elbows him in the ribs for that one, and he starts laughing.

"Six months really is too long," the god of the dead mutters.

"Not when we're together though, hmm?" Steve lifts an eyebrow, and his lover rolls his eyes. "Does my impatient god want to go home?"

"Want to take _you_ home with me this time," he murmurs, one arm stretching along the back of the bench and brushing against blond hair. Steve sighs, leaning against him.

"I've missed you. And our home," he admits, and that's all the prompting Bucky needs to wrap his arms more securely around the god of spring and take them home.

"You like it?" he asks when Steve looks out over this world, the flowers blooming and the trees bright with coloured petals. "It's yours, too, you know."

"I love it," Steve wraps his arms around his waist, resting his head on his god's shoulder. "But it means nothing to me without you."

"Just wanted to hear you say it," Bucky leans back, kissing him gently, and Steve smiles into the kiss, vibrant and warm.

"I love you," he breathes when they part, his breath warm and sweet on Bucky's lips, and the god of the dead pulls back slightly, his eyes dark when they meet blue.

"I love you, too."

-

"I'm happy for them," Ares tells Apollo over her oracle, waving a hand to dispel the image before it got too intimate for her liking.

"So am I. It's disturbing," Apollo mock-frowns, and she laughs.

"They did the right thing," she glances down at the now-blank oracle. Apollo's watching her, and she grins as he dives for her. The length of his body pins her in the grass, but she doesn't try and fight it.

"If I say 'I love you', do I get the same reward?" he flutters his lashes, and she pulls him down for a kiss.

"You did the first time round," she reminds him, before twisting so she's pinning _him_ \- she _is_ a goddess of war after all.

"Damn," he grins, but there's no real heat behind it. She knows his heart without him saying it anyway - he's been with her for centuries. The thought sparks a single word in her mind, one that echoes as they tangle together, until she's not sure where her soul ends and his begins.

_Mine_.

 


	13. Steve learns Russian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Bucky loses his temper, he lapses into Russian and Steve never wants to feel helpless again   
> (based on a post on Tumblr)

Steve hears the flurry of Russian, fast and _angry_ , as Bucky paces, and he wishes Natasha was here because she _knows_ what he's saying and how to calm him down. Their last mission had gone badly, and Bucky hasn't spoken a single word of English in the ten minutes they've been home. His metal fist clenches then relaxes, clenches again, and Steve feels _useless_.

Eventually, he leaps up, stopping the soldier in his tracks, and cupping his face in his hands, forcing him to _look_ at him. Bucky quiets, his eyes dark and still sparking with some of the rage that seems so much closer to the surface since Steve got him back (and he doesn't care, he _doesn't_ , but he really wishes that he could _help_ , that he could understand).

"Thank you," Bucky's voice sounds hoarse as he forces the words out, and Steve moves so his arms are wrapped around him, letting Bucky relax against him, his anger finally draining away.

That's about the time Steve decides to learn Russian. He tries to learn it himself, at first, but it quickly becomes clear that he's not gonna be able to learn everything he needs from the pages of books and numerous internet pages, so he asks Natasha. She doesn't question it, and he learns quickly, determined to never feel useless and _shut out_ ever again.

Next time Bucky loses his temper, he's yelling in Russian again, and Steve recognises the words, some of them at least, but Natasha's there, murmuring something that calms him. He looks relieved, when he glances at her, but neither of them say a word. When Steve's lessons continue, she focuses on what she's realised he wants to learn rather than the general language. She doesn't mention his reasons, and neither does he.

When he learns some of the things that Bucky's been saying, he feels a little cold, and thinks that maybe Bucky's glad to have other languages to fall back on so one can understand just exactly what he's screaming, what tears at him inside his head.

-

Bucky nearly got re-captured by the Red Room, and they'd only just managed to get him out safely. The emotion that rips through his voice isn't exactly _angry_ , more defensive yet terrified, like he doesn't want to admit that he's scared of being dragged back there and having his memories wiped like nothing had ever changed.

" _Never again, never again_ ," the Russian words make sense this time, and Steve searches his mind for the words that might help make this better.

" _They won't take you,"_ he promises, the words sounding rough and strange on his tongue like they always do, but the results on Bucky are instant. He spins, eyes wide, and he's shaking, fine tremors that grip his entire body. " _Not while I'm still breathing_."

" _When did you learn Russian?"_ Bucky asks, in the same language, and it takes a few seconds for Steve to understand what he's been asked, since Bucky's eyes are still locked on him, filled with awe and surprise.

" _Since the failed mission,"_ he admits, and he knows that Bucky remembers the one he's talking about. _"When Natasha wasn't there to help you, and I couldn't."_

_"You've learnt well_ ," Bucky says, and there's something in his tone, something like respect. " _She taught you?"_

Steve nods, and Bucky's wrapping his arms around him, the metal slightly cooler than his skin even through his shirt, and Steve silently thanks Natasha for how much she's managed to teach him in the few months they've been at this.

" _Thank you_ ," the words are spoken into his chest, muffled but Steve understands. Bucky repeats them in English a moment later, without the slight accent that worked to hide some of the sincere gratitude in his voice. The intensity of it makes Steve tighten his grip around Bucky, and the soldier looks up at him.

It's clear that he never thought someone would go to the trouble just to _help_ him, and Steve feels cold at the thought.

_"It was my turn to take care of you,"_ he remembers how many times Bucky was there to lift him off the ground after he got into one too many fights, before the serum took hold of him, and then afterwards, protecting his back when he was fighting. Bucky's smiling, and it's clear he's remembering their past, too.

_"I'm with you till the end of the line_ ," Steve had looked up those words without Natasha's input, and it warms him that Bucky still remembers them, even after everything he's been through.

The sentiment spans decades, even lifetimes, but it still rings true, now more than ever.


	14. Natasha watches Hades and Persephone start legends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha (Ares) watches as two gods make history and start myths and legends that will span centuries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, this will be the last Greek God AU (I got a little fixated on this mythology for a while, sorry)
> 
> Natasha - Ares  
> Clint - Apollo  
> Bucky - Hades  
> Steve - Persephone

Natasha doesn't remember when things were different, when there was a time before the world was hers to burn and her every action didn't resound across the heavens and into eternity. She doesn't remember a time when her and Death didn't go hand in hand, linked by the first human who'd taken the life of another. She doesn't remember a time without Apollo, the one god who isn't afraid of her.

But she watches, now, as her oldest friend begins to change everything. He isn't even sure of what he's doing yet, but she knows that he'll become aware soon enough. The god of the dead knows what he is, knows his nature, and he knows that it isn't the right nature for the god of spring. But she knows that he can't bring himself to care.

So flowers bloom under the surface of the Earth, and she waits for the wars that hover, ready to crash down and burn everything, or for the choice that will set them free.

-

"You're causing quite the stir above," she comments, and Bucky looks at her, eyebrow lifting. She isn't sure when they started stealing their names from humans, but even gods risk getting lost to humanity. She knows that better than most.

"I've heard," his voice is dry, but she can see the way he tenses, his grip tightening on stone that cracks under his hands.

"You two could start a war," she can feel the possibility burning under her skin, and knows the time for their choice isn't far away now. She has a feeling she knows what it will be, and it isn't Bucky's decision to make, not that he knows that yet.

"You know I would, for him," she can hear the steel in his voice, and is struck by the fact that he is a king in his own right, as powerful as both of his brothers.

"And he would, for you," she runs her fingers over the veins of silver in the walls. "That's what worries me."

"So are you here to threaten me?" he knows that she isn't; she never has the need. She simply takes what she wants and burns it to ash, and it's enough. War doesn't have to make excuses, or demands, and he knows it.

"You know me better than that," she folds her arms. "I'm here to tell you that I'm on your side, no matter what."

"So your visits _haven't_ gone unnoticed?" his lips curl into the semblance of a smile.

"No, but then, they never do. People watch me wherever I go, like a snake in their midst," her smile is genuine, and that might scare some. As it is, he just throws back his head and laughs.

"I'd worry more if they didn't," he chuckles.

"You don't," she points out.

"Why should I? War will come to me whether I wish it or not. It's not my place to deny it," he's worked it out, she realises; he knows that it's not his choice, never was.

"And if it does come for you?" she cocks her head.

"I'll be ready," there is nothing but calm determination in the words, and sparks fly under her skin at the implications.

"Good," is all she says. She's never seen the god of the dead ready to fight, and she knew that others wouldn't think they saw it now, but she can see it, in the way his eyes blaze and the whole Earth trembles.

She leaves, wondering what this pair of gods will do to the world.

-

The next time she visits, the god of the dead stands on the balcony overlooking his gardens, and she moves to stand beside him. She knows that he sometimes finds her too bright for his land, like the flame that threatens to consume the darkness, but it won't stop her coming here. She watches the golden god walk through the gardens, flowers blooming in his wake, a beautiful impossibility.

"The world is dying," she says quietly, but the immortal jerks like he's been struck.

"I know," the words are slightly rough, like he's forcing them out. She almost wishes he could be careless like some of the other gods are, because it would spare him pain, but she knows that's impossible, since he is the one who sees the souls entering their afterlife. He can see there have been more than usual, even without her words to remind him.

"Our ... _my_ king grows restless," she cannot speak for him, not any more; he has his own kingdom, his own power, and if he wishes, his own loyalties. "It won't be long before he visits you."

"I know," the words are spoken colder now, but when Bucky looks at her, there's pain in his eyes. "We've been friends since the human race began, haven't we?"

"Since man took his first life," she agrees, watching him.

"What can I do?" he asks, and there's desperation there. "I can't lose him, you know that."

"I do know that," she brushes her lips over his cheek, knowing that her touch may burn too hot for him. He just looks at her, dark eyes shadowed, but she knows that he's recognised the gesture as the motion of solidarity that it is. "You can't do anything."

She leaves him to watch the god he's risked so much for, the one who brings life to the dead and a radiance to the shadows. She's used to being in the presence of darkness here, in this place where the dead find their happiness and their god rules as king, but lately, it's been filled with light and warmth, like the Elysian fields are spilling their beauty into the rest of their world. She wonders what it means, that life blooms here while it drains from another world.

-

Her next visit is with Apollo at her side, and she knows that their king has visited, and recently. The air smells of ozone, and electricity sparks here still. Bucky turns with anger in his eyes, but he relaxes once he sees who it is.

"He came with a warning," Bucky spits out the word. "Like he _cares_ about the mortals who die. He only cares for them while they can worship him, but I have their eternities, long after they've stopped being _useful_ to him."

"You drove him away," she murmurs, and Apollo's eyes widen, almost imperceptibly. They step on to the balcony she stood on last time she visited, and she sees the god of spring in the gardens again, his hands brushing over flowers and smiling.

"I did. He has no power here, and he overstepped his bounds," Bucky's anger is different to the sudden temper of her king, with his violent outbursts and sparks of lightning; this is the kind of anger that causes the world to tremble and kingdoms to fall. He tenses suddenly, like he's going to run out into the garden and stop the other god from reaching for the fruit that belongs to the dead.  "What's he doing?!"

"No," Natasha rests a hand on his arm, and he turns to her. "Our king was here to remind you of the laws of the world. He's only following the one that allows him to stay."

"He'll be _bound_ here," Bucky whispers, but not like he's angry. More like he's shocked at this new alternative, one he had never considered an option. "I never wanted that for him."

"Like I said, it was never your choice," she smiles at him. "Trust him. He knows what he's doing. And he's doing it in a way that not even Zeus can argue with."

"No god or king can disobey the laws that hold the worlds together," Apollo comments, leaning on the railing.

They watch in silence as flowers bloom around the god below them, a circle that watches without judgement, as he plucks the fruit, turning it over in his hands. Apollo's grinning, Bucky's watching in awed silence and Natasha waits with baited breath.

When the god sinks his teeth into the fruit, the juice coats his lips like blood, staining them a slick red, and she gasps as the electricity sparks under her skin before it fades. There is no possibility of war. Not any more. Who would fight when they couldn't change the outcome?

Steve turns, like he's known they were there the entire time, and he grins with triumph, like he's won a battle. And maybe he has.

Natasha's breath catches when she sees him through Bucky's eyes, for a second. All golden radiance and life in a place for the dead, a presence that keeps away the shadows, if just for a little while, but embraces them all the same. But more than anything, Bucky sees him as someone who _knows_ him, every part of him because for once he hasn't tried to hide, and who accepted him completely. She exhales sharply, almost like a gasp, and Bucky glances at her.

"I see him," she explains, and doesn't say any more because she knows her friend has understood what she means.

"And he's damned himself to a life here for me," Bucky's smile has a tinge of sadness, and she turns to him fully.

"No," the reprimand is gentle, for her. "He didn't _damn_ himself, Bucky. He chose this because there was no other way. Enjoy it, revel in it, and do not think for a single second that he regrets his choice."

The joy on his face is almost blinding to look at, and he starts laughing, a reckless edge to the sound. The god of spring moves to his side, the juice still dripping down his chin, and he uncurls his fingers to expose the pomegranate seeds that lie there.

"Proof that I will come back," he licks his lips, and Bucky smiles, kissing him  before licking the last of the juice away and making the blond laugh.

"I never needed proof," Bucky smiles down at him, and Natasha turns away, taking Apollo's hand.

"You know you will only have six months," she says before they go. She doesn't turn around. "They won't accept anything else."

"Six months is enough," Bucky almost sounds like he means it.

"Never enough," his lover mutters, and Ares and Apollo vanish, still hearing laughter in their ears.

"He did it," Apollo sounds a little amazed. "I didn't know if he would."

"I did. They don't seem like they want war," being ready for it and _wanting_ it are two very different things.

 


	15. It gets worse before it gets better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has nightmares as he remembers more and more of his past, but Natasha's right when she says it will get better.

Bucky's yelling in Russian, English and every other language he knows, the words lost to the sound of gun-fire and screams. He's sobbing, trying to find the first person he killed, shouting apologies because he needs them to know he's so fucking sorry. But everyone's being consumed by the inferno that's growing out of control, the symbol of a hospital fading into ash ...

Bucky wakes up, gasping for air, tearing the sheets away from where they've tangled around him. He remembers the dream, like he always does, but this one is slightly different because this one's a memory, too.

"What were you dreaming about this time?" a familiar voice speaks from the door of his cell ('cell' may have been a little harsh - it's comfortable enough, he just isn't allowed to leave). SHIELD lets people visit, and so far Natasha's the only one who's chosen to do so.

"The hospital fire," his voice is slightly rough, but she doesn't mention it.

"Ah," her face doesn't betray any distress, but she enters the room and sits down on the edge of the bed. "I was the one who set that."

"Yes, to cover up the evidence of what we'd done," he still remembers the body-count, the bodies they'd left in their wake.

"Someone tried to blackmail me with that, once," her lips twitch, not into a smile, but into something closer to a grimace. "He took the mind of the one who brought me here, and Barton told him everything."

"The red in your ledger," he remembers her mentioning this before. "The past you're trying to atone for."

"I'm not the only one," she reminds him, and she has a point. "You're the one who surrendered to SHIELD, remember?"

"Maybe I was tired of running," Bucky's memories are coming back, in bits and pieces. He remembers more of the Winter Soldier than he does of Bucky Barnes, but he keeps the name because it feels like gaining control of his life again, fighting his way back to the good, honest man he used to be. The more she visits, the more he remembers of _her_ ; the Black Widow, his greatest student and his equal. He feels more vulnerable when he remembers the good memories, scattered amongst the bad like flashes of light in an otherwise-dark past, and he remembers _her_ amongst them.

"Doesn't change the fact that you did the right thing," she answers, and he shrugs. He feels the joint of his shoulder, where it connects to metal, twinge slightly, but he avoids looking at it simply because he can still see a metal hand wrapped around a gun, firing at every person who still stands.

"Do you have nightmares?" he asks before he can stop himself, and she looks at him for a moment, assessing, before she speaks.

"Sometimes," she admits. "I found one thing makes it better."

"And what's that?" Bucky asks, curious.

"Making enough good memories to outweigh the bad ones," she stands, clearly intending to go. "My past is as bad as yours, but the good memories help me to forget. I never stop trying to make up for it, because I owe it to the people I killed. But that doesn't stop me having my own life. I don't let the past ruin my present, and you shouldn't either."

"Easy to say that when you're free to go," Bucky snorts, and she lifts an eyebrow.

"You'll be free to go as soon as SHIELD's done poking around," she says, and she's gone. He's still amazed they gave him his arm back, but they tested it for anything that could prove dangerous and found nothing, and they'd given it back to him. Not that willingly, admittedly, but Bucky understands that someone else was demanding it.

Bucky suspects the blond who was a mission but looked at him with such recognition, uttering the name he now recognises as his own but didn't then; he'd only seen a target, an enemy. Now, a name forms on his tongue. _Steve_. It brings to mind a smaller blond though, looking the same but with ribs visible through his skin, and his head barely reaching Bucky's chest. He has the same fire in his eyes though, and the soldier doesn't doubt it's the same man, somehow.

There's a lot of blanks to fill in there, he knows, and he can't help the frustration that swells under his skin. He hates how Hydra's taken what's his, supressed the memories until he can barely remember that he even _had_ them.

He settles on the couch, flipping through channels until he finds sports, letting the commentary distract him from the scarlet memories he can still see behind his eyelids.

-

He's on a train, fighting something with laser-guns when he picks up Steve's shield to block a blow. It riccochets, blowing a whole in the side of the train. A second shot follows the first, and it throws him out, leaves him clinging to the railing.

"Bucky, _hold on_!" the words are desperate, and Captain America is reaching for him. He feels the railing starting to give under his hands, and he reaches, trying to grasp the hand extended for him. Then it snaps, and he's falling to the ice, pain ripping through where his arm used to be. Blood trails behind him in the snow before the darkness swallows him whole.

"Steve!" he cries out, sitting bolt upright in his bed. He nearly panics when he doesn't recognise this new place as the room he'd become used to at Shield, but he quickly realises he's at Avengers Tower now. He winces when he realises someone must have heard him shouting, and sure enough, his door swings open.

He flinches, the memory still too fresh, when he sees who the figure in his doorway is. Steve looks at him like he isn't sure if he's welcome, and Bucky watches him, uncertain.

"Nightmares?" Steve finally asks, settling against the door-frame and not moving any closer.

"Yeah," Bucky reaches for the bottle of water he keeps on his night-stand, and takes a swig. "It was when I fell from the train."

"Oh," pain flickers in the blond's eyes, and he looks away.

"What were we trying to stop?" Bucky asks, because he can't quite remember.

"Hydra. One of their top scientists was on that train. We got him, thanks to you," Steve's voice cracks slightly at the end, and the soldier thinks he might be exaggerating that bit.

"I can't remember much of you," Bucky says helplessly, into the silence. "I can't remember much of what I was before I was this, Steve."

"I didn't think you would," Steve answers quietly. "I'm just glad you're remembering some things, even if they are things you'd rather not."

"I wish I could remember you," the Winter Soldier offers. "I don't know why I can't. I remember Natalia, sorry, Natasha, but you ... I don't know."

"You will remember, eventually. Natasha says you will," confidence layers his voice now. "This has happened to her before."

He shuts the door quietly behind him, leaving Bucky to consider his thoughts. He wonders why Natasha never told him that she'd gone through this, and then realises that she wants him to get there on his own. She can tell him anything he wants, but it would be no better than stories without the feelings and memories to go with it.

He settles back down in bed, screwing the cap back on to his water-bottle in case he has nightmares and knocks it over.

This time, he dreams of a little red-haired girl. He leaves her alive, and he doesn't make the link to who she must be now, but he knows, in his heart, that she might have been better off dead.

-

He ends up living in a self-imposed isolation, preferring to stay in his room than to try and interact with the other people who live here. He's met them all at least once, but he feels uncomfortable, can't summon up the conversation that might make them comfortable around _him_ , so he stays here.

It's only a few days later, when he's thinking of that little red-headed girl from his dream, that he realises it was Natasha, and that she's known him for longer than he thought.

-

He isn't sure why, but the nice memories leave him more shaken than the bad.

He begins to dream of Steve, snatches of what must be their old life in Brooklyn. Sharing a bed because Steve's lungs could give out in the cold, working extra hours to pay for the heating they need, signing up for the army because it's his duty to go but hating that he'll leave that skinny little blond kid who gets into too many fights on his own.

He wakes up trembling, and he can't bring himself to question it too closely (his SHIELD-assigned therapist might encourage him to do so, but he rarely does the things she advises). He's left with a warm feeling in his chest that he isn't sure what to do with.

-

Bucky begins to remember what _he_ was like, not just the memories but who he was, and he ventures from his room for the first time in days.

Everyone's in the lounge, laughing, with various drinks in their hands. Thankfully, the conversation doesn't go silent when he walks in, but he does draw a few eyes.

"Well, hey, he's up and walking," Tony throws an arm around his shoulder, and Bucky rolls his eyes. He'd gotten someone to cut his hair for him, hating how messy it made him feel (maybe that was the soldier from before talking), and he'd gotten a similar length to what he'd had when he was just another kid from Brooklyn, going off to war.

Thor's talking to two women and two men that Bucky doesn't recognise, and he's drawn the younger guy's gaze. He suspects the metal arm did that (well, metal hand - his hoodie covers the rest), so he goes over, curious.

"James!" Thor booms. The big guy had been delighted when Bucky had come to the Tower (something about shield-brothers being reunited, Bucky didn't really follow at the time). "This is Jane, Darcy, Erik and Ian."

"Hey," he waves, and watches all their eyes flick to the arm. "Yeah, it works."

"Sorry, I ..." Jane starts, blushing. "We've just never seen a prosthetic that good."

"Mmm," it isn't bad, as far as defences go, so he lets it slide. He taps Ian on the nose with it, laughing when he flinches back, wide-eyed.

"Bucky," Natasha chides, but she's trying not to smile.

"What?" he feigns innocence, but lets her lead him away. He glances back, grinning, and he catches Darcy's eyes on him. "Hey, does she like me?"

"I think she likes the look of you. The actual you ... we'll see," Natasha says drily, and he rolls his eyes.

"Thanks, Natalia," the name slips out without meaning to, and she lifts an eyebrow.

"Remembering a lot more?" she asks, and he nods.

"Remembering Steve, too," he isn't sure he should admit that, not when Steve's _here_ , but he does. She turns to look at him, serious all of a sudden, and he comes to a stop.

"Listen, I don't want him to get hurt, so when you work things out ... don't be too hard on him," the words take him by surprise, and he looks at her, stunned.

"What?" he asks, confused, and she shakes her head.

"You'll work it out in your own time," she says cryptically.

"You like the 'mystery' thing too much," he complains, and she laughs.

"Maybe, but this time, it isn't my secret to tell," she taps his head. "It's all in there somewhere, if you're not blind."

"Thanks," he snorts.

"Hey, Buck," Steve's voice comes from behind them, and Bucky hopes his face isn't as guilty as Natasha's looks (or maybe that's just him noticing - he's always been able to read her better than she'd like).

"Hey, Steve," his smile is warm, but he knows it's not quite the smile Steve remembers because his face falls, ever so slightly. He's still happy he's here, but he hasn't got his best friend back yet. Bucky wonders if he ever will.

"Nice to see you out of your room for a change," the super-soldier jokes, and Bucky surprises himself when he laughs.

"Yeah, well, I've never been one to hide from a fight," he regrets it the moment he speaks because every time he speaks without thinking, he know that Steve's hearing his best friend again, the part of Bucky he can't quite touch yet but who seems to speak directly to Steve at times like these. And he sees the shadows in those blue eyes that confirms it, although Steve would never say the words out loud.

"Just because you were too stupid to know any better," Natasha says lightly, neatly interrupting the silence before it could get awkward.

"Well, there is that," Steve grins, and the moment's passed. Bucky almost regrets it when he walks away, but he's a little grateful for the space.

"God," Bucky exhales sharply, and Natasha glances at him. She's become the one he confides in, and he knows that she's expecting an answer. "I just ... wish I could do this away from him, ya know? It's hurting him, and I know it."

"He doesn't want to send you away," Natasha answers quietly. "He _wants_ to see you get better."

"But I can't remember as much of him as I _should_ ," Bucky's metal hand clenches into a fist, and he feels her hand on his wrist a moment later, a warm presence that transmits through the metal and comforts him.

"You're _remembering_ , and that's good enough for him. He misses his best friend, and I think a part of you misses him too," she looks at him, and he nods. He wonders if the others realise what he knew a long time ago; that he'll never be the man Steve knew, not entirely, because the Winter Soldier and his ice have been a part of him for too long to ever be entirely gone. And he doesn't regret all of that past, because the memories he shares with Natasha are _good_. But there's always going to be that ice in his mind, because if it thawed out, the horrific memories he fights against every _fucking_ day would overwhelm him.

"Look at me," she commands, and he meets her gaze, floored by the understanding he finds there. "You may find it easier to hold on to those walls, to retain distance, but you can't recover unless you accept it all. It's part of healing, and I know that better than anyone."

"It's the only way to keep _going_ ," Bucky whispers, his voice rough.

"Yes, but not _living_ ," she tells him, and he flinches. "Look, there's a man on the other side of that ice, trapped there since the day you fell, and you _need_ to remember him."

She gives him one last sympathetic look, and then she's moving away to talk to Pepper. Bucky sits down, pulling his knees up to his chest until he's curled against the cushions.

"Hey," Sam Wilson sits beside him, and he's one of the few who still watches Bucky out of the corner of his eyes. Bucky can respect that, since he's fought the guy before. "Look, you don't wanna be here."

"How can you tell?" the soldier asks wryly, and the other chuckles.

"Look, I know you're trying to find your way back to Steve. All soldiers wanna fight their way back because it's what we do, but you can't fight this," there's sadness on his face, and Bucky realises the man has fought and lost people too. He doesn't know how he didn't make the connection before. "Go to the exhibit in the museum. Take in the sights. Work out why you're trying to get back, and what you want to get back to. Then, maybe, you'll get there."

"Thanks," Bucky's surprised by the help, and he slips out without anyone noticing, the way he's perfected since living in the Tower when he hasn't wanted to see anyone.

He's been to this museum before, once, when he didn't know who to trust or what to believe. He knows what's true now, at least in part, and it's not so jarring, looking at the soldier he once was.

He leans on the railing, and Sam's advice circles in his head. _Work out why you're trying to get back_. He's almost tempted to say for Steve, so that his oldest friend isn't alone in this strange world, but that's not the only reason, and he knows it.

_I don't want the Winter Soldier to be everything that I am_. But that doesn't mean he has to be who he was - he just has to become _more_ than an assassin, more than a weapon for someone else to use. And he could say he's already done that, but it isn't quite what he wants. _I want to be a good man_. That seems to cut through everything else he wants from this, and he lifts his head, looking up at the exhibit again. He's pulled his hood up, just like when he first came here, simply because SHIELD still considers his existence classified.

_Work out what you want to get back to_. That might be a harder question. He knows it's unrealistic to want to be the determined soldier who considered his world to be black and white. _I'd like to get back to the man Steve sees me as_. Someone who's worth the look Steve gives him before reality kicks in and he realises that the man he got back isn't the same one he lost. He wants to feel like he's worth a damn.

He hears someone come and stand beside him, and glances down to see a little girl, standing beside him. She can't be more than about eight or nine, with long blonde hair and a look of actual interest, like she cares about the exhibit she's looking at.

"Do you like Captain America?" she asks.

"Yeah, do you?" he lifts an eyebrow, quickly glancing round in case her parent gets suspicious of a stranger talking to their child. But he sees a woman who looks a little like the girl, and she's trying to keep four other young kids close and quiet.

"Yeah, but I like them more," she points to the Howling Commandos, and her eyes land on James Buchanan Barnes, displayed in black and white. He sees her eyes widen, and she looks back to him. His eyes flick towards the exit, almost imperceptibly. She's grinning now, and that takes him by surprise. He hasn't seen anyone who looks at him like he's anything special outside of Avengers Tower, and even the looks he gets in the Tower are shadowed with sympathy.

"Don't worry," she says confidently. "I can keep a secret."

"Can you?" he lifts an eyebrow, and he rolls up the sleeve of his hoodie, exposing the metal arm. Her eyes go wide, and she touches the metal.

"Why do you have that?" she looks down at her own arm, almost like she's wondering why hers isn't like that.

"The bad guys hurt me, once," he explains, and she gasps.

"Did you defeat them?" she asks, sounding excited, and he laughs.

"I did, eventually," he nods, and she claps her hands, delighted. She looks back at the exhibit, and her eyes narrow a little.

"You look slightly different," she announces, and he tilts his head, confused. "Like you've seen too many bad things. My mum sometimes looks like it, when there's bad things on the TV. She never stays like it though. She tells me there are too many good things to always be sad."

"She sounds smart," he says, and she nods vigorously.

"She says everyone's got good inside them, but it sometimes get lost," he wonders when little girls started sounding so grown up, and he realises that when the world changed, the people changed too.

"And what does she say about those people?" he asks, and she looks pleased that he's interested.

"That they can get better, if they try hard enough," she explains. "That the world does bad things to good people."

"I don't think she actually told you this," he says sternly, and she giggles.

"She was telling my older sister. She's a few years older, and she thinks that I'm too young," she makes a face, and Bucky laughs. "She treats me like the others."

She gestures to the numerous siblings her mother has managed to get under some semblance of control, and Bucky glances across at her. She keeps throwing glances at her daughter, and she narrows her eyes at him. He steps away slightly, and she nods, apparently content to let her kid stay there while she's nearby.

"I think she just wants you to be happy," he explains, and she nods.

"I know. That's what mums are for," she smiles, happy. "Do you have someone to take care of you?"

"No," he says after hesitating for a minute. "I don't."

"You need someone. Everyone needs someone," she says decisively. "Even the bad people."

"Definitely the bad people," Bucky nods, and she smiles, nodding.

"I'll keep your secret," she tells him, and he glances down at her, confused. "Oh, the one where you think you're a bad person. You're not, of course, but people get confused."

"You're awfully smart for your age," he tells her.

"Well, I _am_ nine," she draws herself up proudly, and he chuckles. "What can I call you? Your name is kinda long."

"Bucky," he says after a moment, and she smiles. "I'm Emma."

"Pleasure to meet you," he bows, and she laughs.

"Bye, Bucky," she waves when her mother calls for her. "Your secret's safe with me!"

He grins when she goes, and he glances back at the exhibit. He seriously questions his judgement when little girls start sounding wise to him, but he shrugs. He glances back at the exhibit before he leaves, and he blinks a little when he gets outside, his eyes taking a minute to adjust to the light.

When he gets home, everyone's drifted off to do their own thing, but Natasha and Steve are curled up on the couch, her asleep under his arm while he watches whatever movie they've put on.

He doesn't want to disturb them, but Steve tilts his head back anyway, and smiles slightly.

"Hey, where'd you go?" he asks, quiet so he doesn't wake the assassin sleeping next to him.

"Museum," Bucky answers, equally quiet, and the super-soldier nods. The assassin throws a questioning glance at Natasha.

"She was tired, but she wanted to wait for Clint to get back from his mission," Steve murmurs. Bucky nods, and slips out the room.

He settles down on his bed, trying to ignore the way he wishes could go sit with the other two and watch the end of whatever they had on. He misses the easy contact he'd once had with people, when he wasn't worried that he could hurt them, or that his nightmares would scare them. He's tired, he realises, of acting like he's shattered into pieces. He may be broken, but what's left seems to be holding steady, and he realises that he's gotten used to people being gentle around him, like they're afraid they're gonna say something wrong.

He resolves to start actually acting like a functioning human being tomorrow, because he's tired of feeling like he isn't. He falls asleep, a slight smile on his lips.

The nightmares don't come that night. But the memories do, a memory of him in his army uniform, standing over some scrawny kid in an alleyway. _I had him on the ropes_. He doesn't know whether to roll his eyes or laugh, because Steve was always like this, even when his fragile body didn't reflect the strength of the man inside.

_Everyone needs someone. Even the bad people_. He wonders when his and Steve's rolls switched, and he became the one who needed saving.

Eventually, he gives into the temptation of breakfast, and slips from the room, wearing nothing but a pair of sweat-pants. He yawns, scrubbing a hand through his hair as he smelt something fucking _delicious_. He follows his nose to the kitchen, and finds Bruce making waffles.

"Mind if I steal a few of those?" he asks, stretching, and Bruce glances over his shoulder, looking a little surprised.

"You'll have to fight Tony. He's been in the lab all night," he offers, rolling his eyes at the other scientist's lack of proper sleep.

"That means he's asleep in there right now and won't miss one or two," the soldier grins, snagging one off the plate, and Bruce seems to agree since he grabs one too. He quickly cooks up two more, and nearly runs from the room before anyone else could walk in. Natasha shoots him an envious glare when she walks in and sees what he's eating, but she starts the coffee-maker without bothering with food.

"How are you awake and aware without coffee?" she groans, and he laughs.

"Always been an early-riser," he shrugs, because he remembers many morning he's spent sat on rooftops or near beaches to watch the sun rise.

"Eugh," she makes a face at the concept, and he chuckles.

"You're so cute when you're sleepy and rumpled," he teases, and she elbows him on her way to get two mugs. "Clint dead to the world?"

"We take it in turns getting the coffee. Whether the sleeping one gets breakfast or not depends on if someone's making it," she explains.

"Shame, Bruce was making waffles for Tony about a minute before you walked in," Bucky comments, finishing off the last of his waffle. She sighs as she waits for the coffee machine to warm up.

"If Clint wants waffles, he can make his own," she sniffs, and Bucky snorts.

"Such a kind, generous soul," he mocks, and she pins him with a half-hearted glare.

"Careful, Barnes, I could still kick your ass half-asleep," she mutters, and he grins.

"Doubt it, I trained you," he says lightly. "And I put you on your ass more times than I can count."

"I blame the metal arm for that advantage," she frowns, and he rolls his eyes.

"Whatever you say, Romanoff," he's saved from her death-glare by the coffee machine, and she carried the mugs of coffee out of the room without bothering with sugar. He shudders at the thought, and wishes he'd asked Tony to teach him how to make a latte. He sighs, admitting defeat to the numerous silver buttons and dials on the contraption, when Steve enters the room, shirtless, and slightly damp and flushed from his shower.

"Hey," he says, surprised, and Bucky looks at him with renewed hope.

"Can you teach me how to use it?" he points to the coffee machine. "I want a latte and I don't fucking know how to make one."

He feels like he should mention the new memory that's come to light, but he doesn't want to break the friendly atmosphere into something more tense, so he waits for an explanation.

"I'm pretty sure JARVIS is connected to this machine. Natasha just doesn't trust him because Tony's programmed him to fuck with Clint's coffees, and since they make them at the same time ..." Steve trails off, and Bucky nods.

"Uh, JARVIS?" he's still a little wary of any super-computers like this one, the memories of Zola in his network of cables still fairly fresh. "Can I have a latte? Shot of vanilla?"

"Of course," the computer says, and Steve quickly shoves a mug underneath the machine before the drink's wasted.

"Oops," Bucky shrugs, and Steve rolls his eyes in equal parts amusement and exasperation. When it's done, Bucky takes a sip and groans.

"Wish we'd had this in the army," he mutters, because he can only remember the disgusting stuff they got rationed, and he remembers trading it for cigarettes or whiskey more than once.

"Yeah," Steve wraps his hands around his mocha, and sips it, sighing in pleasure.

"Bit of a sweet tooth there?" Bucky chuckles.

"Apparently," the super-soldier grins. "Did something happen at that museum? You came back looking ... thoughtful."

"Just met someone with interesting insights," he answers, smiling slightly.

"Mmm. Bucky," there's something there in Steve's voice now, and Bucky turns to him, a little nervous about the change. "Listen, I don't know how much you remember, but ..."

"I ... think I know what you're about to say," he says, and he does. It's all coming together in his head, like separate puzzle pieces. "But I'd like you to say it anyway, just in case I'm wrong and I feel like an ass later."

"I just wanted to apologise, for the way I've been acting," Steve rushes out, and Bucky nods, like that's what he expected. "I've been acting like you should be back to normal, and that's wrong of me. You've been through so much, and god knows I wasn't the same when I first got back. So, I'm sorry, and ..."

"Steve," Bucky interrupts, holding up his hand. "It's okay. I hoped I could be what you wanted, but ..."

"Wait, no," Steve looks stunned. "Not what I wanted? Bucky ..."

And it's the way he says his name, that Bucky _knows_. He can see the picture clearly in his head, how it fits together, and it makes sense with Steve. _Everyone needs someone_. Yes, they do. _You'll work it out in your own time_. Natasha was right, and he finally knows what he wants.

"Steve," he speaks the word softly, like a prayer, and the blond looks at him, and he looks like he's got a million words on his tongue. So Bucky does the only thing that makes sense. He kisses him, pressing forwards until there's no space between them.

Steve's lips move against his own, soft and sweet, and Bucky pulls back, licking his lips quickly.

"I love you," Steve says gently, like it's the simplest thing in the world, and hell, it probably was. Bucky finally feels something close to peace, like he's regained something precious.

"I love you, too," he breathes, and he knows it's true. He remembers enough to know he loved Steve before, too, but not in a way that they could ever be together, not with the world they lived in. Steve would have probably married Peggy, had a family, and Bucky would have done the same with another dame, and their worlds would have expanded to include others beside the pair of them. But now ... now it's so _close_ , if he reaches out. He loves Steve now, too, maybe more than he did then, because he's _good_ and he's right and he's everything Bucky isn't and he fucking _needs_ him, more than he needs air to breathe.

He kisses him again, and Steve's arms wrap around him. Bucky's hands tangle into his hair, and he feels Steve press him against the kitchen counter. He gets the idea, and jumps so he's sitting on the side, his legs spread and the super-soldier standing between them, still kissing him like he's scared Bucky's going to vanish. His hands grip bruises on his hips, and Bucky gasps softly against his lips.

Steve immediately pulls back, afraid he's done something wrong, and Bucky laughs raggedly, his eyes dark but sparkling.

"Wasn't because you did something _wrong_ , Steve," he lifts an eyebrow, and the blond laughs, quick and easy. He hasn't moved more than few inches away, and his hands are still resting on his hips.

"When did you know?" he asks, and Bucky doesn't try and pretend he misunderstands, or laugh it off, because he can see the seriousness in the other's face.

"I think I've always known," he laughs quietly, but it's at himself, not at Steve. "But it's one of those things I just didn't look at, you know? But I remember ... I remember how I used to feel. I loved you then, but I love you now, too. You got under my skin."

"It's always been just us," Steve murmurs, almost like he's thinking aloud, and Bucky looks at him, questioning. "I mean, it's _always_ us. Even now, when people thought we'd both died, we're here."

"Till the end of the line," Bucky remembers speaking the words to him, after his mother's funeral, and Steve's lips curve up in a gentle smile.

"Till the end of the line," he agrees, Bucky rests his head in the hollow of his neck, content to remain there for however long they can.

But, of course, Thor walks in, and decides to make the announcement that they're 'betrothed'. Bucky and Steve exchange looks and start laughing, but neither of them bother denying it, not when they live with Tony and Clint - those two would just assume it was still true.

Of course, it eventually _does_ come true, and Natasha, Clint, Bruce, Tony and Thor stand up there with them (there are a million jokes that ask if Bucky's asked Fury's permission for Steve's hand in marriage). They get married on the anniversary of the war ending (Bucky had been the one to suggest it - he thought it would represent everything they'd fought for, and Steve had agreed with him).

Bucky even managed to track down Emma, the girl he'd met in the exhibit, and her family sat at the back. She was grinning proudly, sat at the front as a bridesmaid, even as her mother dabbed at her eyes (the younger children had been left at home, so only Emma's older sister was sat with her).

"Thank you," Bucky murmurs to her when the wedding's over and everyone's drifting towards the reception. He hasn't stopped smiling since the ceremony began, and she beams up at him.

"For what?" she asks, and he laughs.

"For giving me some advice," he leans down, like he's whispering a secret. "I think I found my someone."

"And so did he," she looks meaningfully over his shoulder, and he glances to see Steve approaching them, looking as happy as Bucky was, and looking amazing in his suit. "Even heroes need someone."

"I think you're right," Steve is just in time to hear that last sentence, and he smiles down at her. Bucky is kinda glad she was allowed to come - her words meant more to him than he'd care to admit.

"My daughter, giving super-heroes life-changing advice," her mother's heard about the story in the museum by now, and Emma laughs.

"Someone has to," she says, almost chidingly, and Bucky grins.

"She's right," Steve chuckles, and her mother, Tanya, leads her daughter toward the reception.

"I'm glad we finally made it," Steve says quietly as they follow the family. "Against all the odds."

"Well, it's us. We wouldn't have settled for anythin' different," Bucky's smile is genuine, and he presses a chaste kiss to Steve's lips. "Till the end of the line, remember?"

The line had become a sort of promise for them, and they'd even included it in their wedding vows.

"Till the end of the line," Steve nods, his eyes shining.

And it's like he's saying _I do_ all over again.


End file.
